138. MyMaine Birth: A First Time Mother Chooses Home - with Loving Care from Her Midwife at Northern Sun Family Healthcare - Danika’s Story
Danika: 0:00
And I was really doing my best to just let these contractions move through me and surrender. I was trying to say like yes, yes, yes, when they were happening, even though every time I start up, there was that little like pit of dread, like, no, like not another one. Yeah, but reframing it, that mindset. I mean, it's tough. It's it is just as much a mental game as it is physical. And I kept have every contraction I kept kind of having to remind myself to welcome it and not resist. And I overall, I think I did a really good job with that because things were progressing like really smoothly.
Angela: 0:46
I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced dual lap child birth educator, and your host here on the My Maine Birth podcast. This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a seemed to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome back. You're listening to episode 138 of My Main Birth. Today's birth story guest is Danica, and she is here to share all about her home birth experience, why she chose home birth for her first birth, and all about the lovely care that she received from her midwife, Dr. Sarah Ackerley of Northern Sun Family Healthcare in Topsham. All right. Hi Danica. Welcome to My Main Birth. Hi. Thanks, I'm so excited. Awesome. Well, to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family?
Danika: 2:05
Yes, of course. So my daughter is eight weeks old now. And um, my husband also has two children from a previous marriage. They are 14 and 16, so we have a bit of an age gap there, and they're with us about half the time. And we live in Brunswick right now, and our goal is to move out a little bit and get some land and hopefully be surrounded by nature and have like a mini homestead. So that's what we're working toward right now.
Angela: 2:33
Amazing. That's awesome. To jump into birth now, would you start by sharing a little bit about what your mindset was around birth growing up? Like what kind of stories had you heard about birth and going into your birth experience? What were some of like your viewpoints?
Danika: 2:51
Yeah, so I guess I didn't have a ton of viewpoints growing up, other than my my own birth story, which was rather traumatic. My mom had like a help syndrome, pre-eclampsia type situation, ended up with emergency C-section, and she was actually in the ICU for about 10 days. So we were separated for that time, and we really did almost lose her. So it was really traumatic, and that's kind of been what I've been told, you know, as far as as far as birth. And that's really only the story I I grew up with. So now moving to Maine and being surrounded by my community here, I learned a lot about home birth. I have quite a few friends who have birth at home, and I knew long before I got pregnant, I was like, that is that's the way. And I almost wanted to rebirth my own birth by having a redemptive home birth. So that was kind of that was my goal going into my birth. Wow.
Angela: 3:57
So how did you find out you were pregnant? And yeah, like what were your thoughts like in choosing your care after you found out?
Danika: 4:05
So it was definitely a conscious conception. We, my husband and I got married September of 2024, and we knew we wanted to try to get pregnant pretty quickly. I'm 34 and he's 40, so we wanted to get going on that. And we decided on the winter solstice to do a basically a conception ceremony. And we wanted to welcome in this soul. We had felt this baby um in our auras for a couple years, and then so we just made that intention. Okay, we're ready for you. Whenever you're whenever you're ready, we'll we'll welcome you. And then I got pregnant that very first cycle. So we're super excited. I found out I was pregnant in January, and the estimated due date was uh September 17th, and my birthday is September 20th. So I was super excited to potentially have another Virgo baby and also give birth around my birth time. So that was very special. Oh, and the the care team you asked about. I had interviewed a couple of midwives once I found out I was pregnant and decided to work with Sarah Ackerley in Topsum. And then also my very close friend Emily Nixon is a birth worker in the area, and we've been friends for gosh, probably 13 or 14 years. So she was absolutely going to be a part of my birth team. Um, so she was my doula and support person as well.
Angela: 5:34
So, how were you feeling as your pregnancy started out?
Danika: 5:39
My pregnancy was honestly really great. I felt really good in my body pretty much the whole time, pretty minimal fatigue, no nausea. I did have a couple of rather unusual things happen. Pretty early on, maybe around six weeks, I started having heart palpitations, which I wasn't super concerned about it at the time because I was aware that hormonal changes and blood volume changes can cause that. So I was just kind of monitoring it. And then a couple weeks later, I think I was eight weeks pregnant, I was working. I'm a home health nurse practitioner, and I was out seeing patients, and the palpitations got so intense. And I was, I they scared me. And I actually drove right to the ER and had a whole workup, and they found that I did have some of these premature beats, um, but everything else was normal, and they kind of chalked it up as well, that's that's pregnancy for you. Um, but this would happen every couple months or so. I'd get weeks of these kind of intense palpitations, and it was really anxiety-producing to feel your heart, you know, acting weird. Um, I did wear a heart monitor for a little bit, and nothing kind of came out of this other than that this is just what happened with my body with pregnancy. So they completely stopped when I gave birth. That was just kind of a weird little hiccup throughout the whole pregnancy I was dealing with.
Angela: 7:06
Wow, that's interesting. So, what was your midwife thinking about that? Did you have any different thoughts?
Danika: 7:13
I mean, they really they wanted to check thyroid, anemia, all the labs were were normal. So we weren't really concerned. I did have a cardiology referral and she had me wear the heart monitor. But other than that, we kind of checked off the major things and just kind of chalked it up as a weird pregnancy thing.
Angela: 7:33
Wow, that's interesting. So, how were your appointments looking like otherwise as you're moving throughout your pregnancy?
Danika: 7:41
Good. There was another thing I wanted to share that was pretty intense that happened. I want to say, I think around 15 weeks, I noticed a lump over where my thyroid is on my throat. And I let my midwife know at the next appointment, that was probably three or four weeks later. And she said, Yeah, that's definitely your thyroid. Um, your thyroid's enlarged, and but your labs are fine, so let's get an ultrasound. So I got an ultrasound about a week later, and she called me with the results and said that it was highly suspicious for malignancy. So I'm listening to her tell me this, and I I'm in complete disbelief that this is happening to me. Hung up the phone and I absolutely broke down crying. Thankfully, she was able to get me an appointment at Portland endocrinology two days later to get a biopsy. But those two days waiting for that appointment were probably the longest two days of my entire life. And just dealing with all of the thoughts that come up with, you know, if I do have cancer, what does this mean for the baby? Am I going to have to sacrifice my treatment just to get the baby here safely? All these, all these thoughts that come up. Um, it really brought me into like a death portal, this contemplation of of you know, a cancer scare and death and all of this stuff. It was so, so intense. So thankfully, at that appointment, two days later, they did another ultrasound that and they basically said, no, this doesn't look too bad. The biopsy did come out normal. But oh my goodness, that experience while pregnant. I mean, a cancer scare alone is terrifying, let alone while being, I think I was about 20 weeks pregnant at this time. It was so intense. I do think it it put a lot of things into perspective for me. I'm I had I think everyone does have some fears around birth. Um so it really helped me release a lot of those fears because ultimately I was just like, I want to be here for my baby, and I want my baby to be here safely. And it kind of stripped away a lot of these these fears I was having.
Angela: 10:11
So, like what other fears um do you are you kind of talking about like what you're having like about the birth?
Danika: 10:17
Yeah. Um, I was definitely concerned that what happened to my mom could happen to me. Um, that was I had done a lot of work trying to release that, but it was still there. I also just really wanted my home birth. So anything that basically brought me into that could bring me to the hospital, I was afraid of like potentially having a breach baby, all of these things. I was I was doing some fear releasing around.
Angela: 10:43
Yeah, it's it's a lot of big, big things, big emotions. And then add those medical concerns on top of it. That's heavy.
Danika: 10:52
It was, but thankfully that was that was okay. And the rest of my pregnancy was super smooth. I stopped working around 30, yeah, 37 weeks, and I had planned to have this really chill, relaxing last couple weeks of pregnancy. I'd planned to go for nature walks and just also do some productive stuff, like fill our freezer with food. But I was dealing with a ton of rib pain. It was like the last month of pregnancy, I was having this intense like nerve kind of rib pain that basically required me to lay in bed. So I was super annoyed that all of my plans um for these last couple of weeks were thwarted. But I do, I do think it was meant to happen like that because it really forced me to slow down. And I think that's what my body needed. I didn't need to be running around doing all this stuff. I needed to be resting, settling into my body, preparing for birth. So I do, I do look at it that way now that it was meant to be. But it was hard because I'm a very kind of typey productive person.
Angela: 12:07
Yeah, it is hard, especially like, you know, like the exercises and the movements are important important, but like also resting is equally or more important, you know, like and really tuning into like yeah, what your body needs and and being fully rested leading up to birth is so important. So that's good to be able to get some rest.
Danika: 12:29
Yeah, I try to surrender into that.
Angela: 12:31
Yeah, it can be hard definitely to let all the schedule things go and the plans that you know you're hoping for, especially you said eight weeks, so this is probably nice, beautiful fall weather to get outside, right? Like I know, just looking at the sun from my bed.
Danika: 12:45
Yeah. It's okay though. You asked about my appointments as well. And another thing I wanted to mention, just in case anyone else is going through this, I'm pretty tall, I'm 5'10, and my belly was on the smaller side, the whole pregnancy, which I kind of chalked up just to being a tall woman. And so I around 37 weeks, I was still measuring 33 centimeters on the fundal height, which is on the smaller side. Typically, they want gestational age plus or minus three. So my midwife at the time did recommend an ultrasound. Uh, at this point, I had only gotten the 20-week anatomy scan. I was trying to do as as few as possible. And she said, let's I'd like to get an ultrasound just to check baby's size, maybe the amniotic fluids low. And I uh my intuition told me baby was perfect, everything was fine, and I declined at that time. Then again, at 40 weeks, I'm still measuring 33 centimeters, and we had the conversation again, and I did decide to get the ultrasound. Um, deep down I still felt everything was okay, but I was starting to get in my head, I was getting a little anxious because she was anxious. Um, so I got that ultrasound now um 40 weeks and one day. So this is September 18th, and I went to main med for that, and that showed extremely low amniotic fluid. Um, baby was perfect size though. But now this kind of started this little cascade of what do we do now? They, the main med basically wanted me to get admitted for an induction right then and there, and I was like, absolutely not! Like, slow down, please. And my midwife was also wanting to get things started. She's like, I really don't want this to go to like 42 weeks because the amniotic fluid tends to decrease a little bit the longer you go. So she was hoping to do some natural induction techniques, some herbs and um acupuncture as well. So that kind of started that that whole that whole process there.
Angela: 15:03
Yeah, that can be a lot. How are you feeling as you were going through those appointments? Like, what were your thoughts and like how are you doing emotionally as it that started?
Danika: 15:13
Well, I was a little disappointed that it did show low amniotic fluid because I really didn't want pressure around the birth. You know, I wanted things to unfold and naturally I didn't want this pressure, like we got to get this going. Although this whole week, um, the week of my due date, I was losing a lot of my mucus plug. So I felt very strongly that birth was coming no matter what. My husband and I both felt that that weekend, um, the weekend of my birthday, September 20th, baby was coming. So I wasn't overly concerned, but it it did worry me a little bit, the low amniotic fluid, and we actually scheduled a second opinion ultrasound in a private practice the following day. And that came out perfectly fine. So no way, yeah, everything it had adequate fluid, baby was fine, everything was perfect. So if I don't know, if anyone has an upsetting ultrasound, you can always go someplace else and get a second opinion because that just took all the stress off the table. My midwife was happy, I was relieved, so that's always an option if if someone's worried.
Angela: 16:28
Yeah, where did you go for your second opinion ultrasound if you don't mind sharing? Oh gosh, she's in Auburn.
Danika: 16:34
I wish I could remember the name of them. I can look it up and send it to you so you have it for reference.
Angela: 16:40
But yeah, uh that would be awesome. And I will add it to the show notes for anyone that's interested. Um I'll get you that. You have options. Cool. So how did things go forward then after that? Wow.
Danika: 16:52
So I had um already I did end up doing the acupuncture induction um that same day of the second second ultrasound. Um and that was with Julia Webb in Brunswick. Highly recommend her. It was a wonderful experience. So I did that. And oh, I forgot to mention that that morning I woke up with that extreme nesting energy. I got it was like six in the morning, and I was like, I gotta clean the fridge out. And I thought I was going to go into labor that day. So by the end of the day, I was honestly a little frustrated. I'm like, why isn't this happening? I'm feeling so ready. When is this baby coming? But overnight, the next morning, about 3:30 in the morning, I woke up with some period like cramps, and they were painful enough where I needed to get out of bed, get a heating pack, and I tried laying down, and that wasn't doing it. I started running a hot bath, and while I was waiting for the bath to fill up, I got this massive like adrenaline dump. I was full body shaky, and I couldn't even hold on to my phone. And I was like, whoa, this is happening. Like my body's prepping. So the bath didn't really help with the cramping, but it did kind of calm the shakiness. And my husband woke up at this time and he was like, What's going on? Like, this is it. I said, please go back to sleep. It's early. I need to go downstairs because I can't, I can't really get comfortable.
Angela: 18:30
Yeah, so it's super important to just like stay calm and like get all excited and just like kind of ignore it almost, right?
Danika: 18:37
And it's like, yeah, and I had tried to go back to sleep. That's always the recommendation everyone gives is try to get rest. And absolutely not. I mean, I was uncomfortable. It's hard to go back to sleep when you're moving through cramping like that. Yeah. So I ended up getting up and going downstairs probably four or four thirty in the morning. Um, by five o'clock, my contractions were already five minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds. And I was honestly really surprised at how quickly there was a pattern, just a little over an hour since starting the cramping. And they just steadily increased from there. I tried my best to hydrate and nourish myself. I was like, this could be 24 hours, 48 hours. Um, so I was chugging coconut water, and I texted my doula Emily around six o'clock, and then 7 a.m. I texted my midwife, who basically said what you said, try to ignore them, go about your day. And I was just baffled by that because I they were already taking my attention, like I couldn't stand through them. I was kneeling down over the couch and breathing through them already. So ignoring them was not possible at that point. Um, so they kept ramping up slowly but surely. I went upstairs to our birth space. Um, our bedroom is where we I made a birth altar and set up the space. And I was assuming the same position on my knees, kind of bent over the bed, and that was my go-to position the whole entire birth. Yeah, I mean I I tried other things and that was not happening. Um around 11 a.m., my water broke. I felt a little pop and some fluid, and I knew immediately that was the water breaking, and that was I think one of the only times my husband wasn't with me the entire labor, and he was so bummed that he missed that moment, which was kind of funny. But I did, I checked out the fluid just to make sure it was clear and it was, um, let the midwife know. And then at that point, the contractions did start getting a little more intense without that that water cushion. And my husband started to fill up the birth tub. Um, and about that took about 30 minutes to fill. And I remember in that 30 minutes, I was like, okay, like when is this tub gonna be ready? Because it was just super steady, um, increasing intensity. But the tub was amazing. And also on my knees, kind of leaning over the tub for the next couple hours. I was having um contractions starting in the front and then wrapping around my back. And I basically had these intense contractions and would just kind of collapse into my husband's arms and just rest my face in his hands, and he was absolutely anchor through the entire entire labor. He just sat right at the edge of the bed and held me anytime I was resting, and it was just it was so beautiful. We did a lot of eye gazing and breathing together, and it was it was the best.
Angela: 22:09
Yeah, it can be really such a beautiful like bonding experience with your partner.
Danika: 22:13
It was, yeah, it was so so beautiful. Um, I really just stared at him like the whole time. It it was it was awesome. Um I was also surprised by how vocal I was. I was really, really vocalizing through every contraction, and that was there was no way I couldn't do that. Like that's what was happening. The sounds were coming out, and it was really empowering just letting all these noises move through me. Um, and then around around noon, so I'd been in labor about nine hours at this point, I had a contraction that it honestly kind of scared me, the intensity. Like I could just visualize and feel myself opening. And that at that point, I texted Emily um my doula to come over because I was like, okay, I need a little more support because I'm this is this is kind of scary, like the intensity. So she got on her way, and then 30 minutes later, we texted the midwife because I was like, I need everybody here, please. This is this is happening. And I was really doing my best to just let these contractions move through me and surrender. I was trying to say like yes, yes, yes, when they were happening, even though every time I start up, there was that little like pit of dread, like, no, like not another one. Yeah, but reframing it, that mindset. I mean, it's tough. It's it is just as much a mental game as it is physical. And I kept have every contraction I kept kind of having to remind myself to welcome it and not resist. And I overall, I think I did a really good job with that because things were progressing like really smoothly. And I had read a lot of books about orgasmic birth and pleasureful births, and I was truly trying to open up that pathway and imagine all of this as pleasure, and it was just not happening. There was there, it was not pleasurable at all. It was definitely pain, and that's okay, that's what I needed to experience, but I just thought it was funny. I just kept trying. I'm like, this this is this is pleasure. This is no, it was it was excruciating if I'm being honest, but I did it. So I'm I'm happy I had that that pain because I came out feeling so empowered that I could endure that. Yeah. Yeah, it's very cool. Yeah. And then gosh, so I think at one o'clock, the whole bird team was there. And I was probably approaching transition. I was definitely getting to that spot where I can't do this anymore. I was having all those thoughts, and I I recognized this. I was like, oh, I think this is transition, like this is good. And my body was getting really, really shaky that like adrenaline was coming back in. I think that's another sign of transition. So I was still in the tub at this point, and I started having those kind of pushy contractions in the tub and that feeling like I need to have a bowel movement. Um, so at this time, my midwife recommended getting out of the tub and kind of sitting on the toilet a little bit, just so I could, I guess, feel these contractions in a different way, like how to move through them. And I really did not want to move, but I did get up and it was tremendously helpful just to position change um and just kind of understanding what my body was trying to do. And I did want to mention as well, I requested not to have any cervical checks during my labor. So that was respected, and I wanted as little monitoring as possible. Um, so I think my midwife only checked us maybe three or four times while she was there. So it was perfect. I did not feel like disturbed by that at all. Baby was doing great, so I was really happy with with that as well.
Angela: 26:38
Awesome. Yeah, it's so important, you know, to have the birth that you want, you know.
Danika: 26:44
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like she really respected um what I wanted. I know that can be disruptive for a lot of people getting getting checked like that. Um, I found everything she did really supportive, so that was great. And so I'm on the toilet now, and these are moving through these pushing contractions. I found the only thing helpful was doing like the horse lip breathing that just came naturally, and I was I just kind of stuck with that. It was kind of like an anchor, like every time the contraction started, I'd start horse lip breathing. And it was honestly super funny, like the sounds. I remember just laughing in my head, being like, I sound so ridiculous right now. And I caught my husband trying not to laugh too. Like, so it's kind of nice to have some humor in in birth too. Um, and at one point, I think I've probably been on the toilet maybe four contractions, and they are just just so overwhelming. Um it was it was my body, my body pushing, pushing down. I was not doing anything myself. And I asked my midwife, I was like, how much longer? Like, I was I was done. And she's like, Well, you can reach down and try to feel your baby. And I did, and her head was about an inch away. And at this point, we didn't know the gender yet, but I said, She's right there, I can feel her head. It just it just came out intuitively. Um, and that gave me so much confidence. I was like, oh my gosh, she's right there, and ended up getting back in the tub and leaned back, and I was kind of in a reclined position, and had a few more contractions in the tub. And at this point, I can feel her stretching the opening. She's kind of turtling in and out, and that sensation was very, very painful. And I there was some fear and resistance. I could tell I was like holding back, holding her in a little bit, just um allowing her to stretch. And I think I was putting my hand down and feeling her head too. But I think, let's see, about four contractions or so. I heard my midwife ask my husband, like, are you left or right-handed? Why don't you come around this way? And I'm thinking, oh my gosh, like we're so, so close. Because from that position, I was reclined. I really didn't feel like I could I could catch her. Um, so I wanted my husband too if I if I wasn't in the position to do that to do so. So at that point, I kind of I just decided. I was like, okay, next contraction, you're not holding back, you're gonna let her come out. And I did. I mean, I screamed at the top of my lungs, and her head came out, and I then felt her do her rotation and Get in the next position, and there's a quite a big pause between her head coming out and her body, and I could feel her kicking and wriggling around in my vaginal canal, and it was honestly so painful. I was like, What is go? I was yelling, like, what is she doing? What's going on? Because she was just she is such a vigorous baby. I mean, she was ready to come out, she was trying to kick her way out. She's rotating, she's rotating and just kicking and moving. And then her body came out. Next contraction, my husband caught her. And there's about 20 seconds or so, like where I'm coming back into my body. I don't remember her being pulled out of the water. Um just kind of reorienting myself. But I did get her on my chest eventually. And after about 20-30 seconds, she started crying. So there was a little bit of a pause before she was crying, and then she was screaming. So she was perfectly healthy. Um, and something unique, she had a true knot in her cord. So I think that's about one in a thousand births. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah, it was really special. The midwives were taking pictures of it, and that can be from my research, it can be dangerous if the cord is short and you have the knot, you're more at risk for that getting pulled taut and um interfering with the blood flow. But her cord was plenty long and it was just it was so cool.
Angela: 31:45
So wow, were they able to like move the knot up and down like the cord?
Danika: 31:49
Like, yeah, it wasn't it wasn't super tight. It could, it could move. Yeah, it was really special though. That is special. Um, so yeah, this was my birthday. She was born on my birthday. Oh yay! Yeah, so that was just a whole nother layer of just like rebirth for myself. Like, talk about rebirth. Yeah, that's wow, that's so cool. So I felt there was a lot of healing in my own birth trauma coming into the world, just to be able to bring my daughter in on the same day I came into the world in just like the most peaceful environment possible. So it was very special. Oh wow, that's a good thing. And my placenta, I think only took uh 15 to 20 minutes. I started feeling cramping, and then um my husband got in the pool to hold the baby, and I got on my knees and gave one little push, and the placenta came out. So that wasn't too horrible. I didn't bleed very much. Um, I did have a second degree tear, but that was sutured. Um, but after that we had our beautiful golden hour and established breastfeeding, and it was just it was just the best.
Angela: 33:12
Oh, how sweet. So how was your like early? Well, I mean, you're still like early kind of postpartum. Yeah.
Danika: 33:20
So how have these last eight weeks been for you? Good. I'm yeah, still in it. She's she's eight weeks old, and I mean dealing with the the normal fatigue and sleep deprivation. Um, but she is just such a precious baby and breastfeeding has been going well and overall just just doing really well. So grateful for her and our experience.
Angela: 33:48
Yeah. Now, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting or even new parents, what is one of the biggest things that you would want to share?
Danika: 34:01
I think the biggest thing that helped me was listening to birth stories. I mean, I every single day probably I was listening to birth stories, and that really really helped me understand um all the variations of things that women can feel and how birth can go, and just anticipating all of that was really powerful. And then I also for me having as much education about the process is really powerful. So anything that I was nervous about or having anxiety, I basically just researched and I read a ton of books. I love the Great Birth Rebellion podcast, the evidence-based podcast about all things birth. So that was super helpful for me. I took Emily's class, um it's called So You Want a Home Birth. Um, and you can find her at Embodied Women's Wisdom. That was super helpful for anyone wanting a home birth.
Angela: 35:11
Yeah, and she's also got a really resourceful podcast to same name, Embodies Women's Wisdom.
Danika: 35:18
Yeah. Yeah. So for me, just arming myself with all the knowledge I possibly could. I mean, whether you want a hospital birth or home birth, I think it's really important to know all the interventions and everything that surrounds those so you can make informed decisions.
Angela: 35:37
Yeah, definitely. Learn all of the options and then choose what feels right for you because it's not one size fits all. Exactly. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Danica, for taking the time to chat with me today and share your story. Thanks for having me. It was great to share. Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth. If you're pregnant, whether you're a first-time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access My Labor of Low, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course. I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with. And I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey. So click those show notes, check out all of those links, and if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my mainbirth over on Instagram.