119. MyMaine Birth: Rachel’s Two Birth Stories at EMMC in Bangor, Maine
Rachel: 0:00
So what's hilarious is because in Northern Light they have this policy where if no one's actually like if a baby is not actually being pushed out, I guess they have to go see other patients. So like all of those people had gone to the other side of the women's building. So when they came in it was the OB on that day plus like four other intern doctors and like three other nurses, so there was like a whole group of people that like came in. So I just remember like hearing a flurry, because the whole time like I had this washcloth on me the whole time like not seeing anything. But I just remember hearing like a flurry of feet coming in and the OB being like wow, there's a baby there you know like, oh look, there's a head of a baby.
Rachel: 0:44
So yeah, not super calm, but yeah it was. It was pretty funny and I'm glad I had the watch clock because I think if I didn't I would have been overwhelmed, because when I came off and I saw the people I was like, oh, my word, I didn't know so many people had shown up.
Angela: 0:59
I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Maine Birth podcast. This is a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome back. This is episode 119.
Angela: 1:38
As you may or may not know, I accept all different types of birth stories Hospital births, birth center births, all different types of birth stories, hospital births, birth center births, all different types of home births and everything in between. The only requirement for sharing a birth story on this podcast is that at least one of your birth stories is a Maine birth story. As an added bonus, all of my podcast guests receive a gift certificate for a family adventure photo session on the session day of your choice. I host session days for my podcast guests at iconic locations across Maine throughout the spring, summer and fall. So if you'd like to join the community of Maine moms sharing birth stories on the podcast, fill out the form over on my website, mymainbirthcom, or you can always send me a message over on Instagram at mymainbirth.
Angela: 2:27
Today's birth story guest is Rachel, and she's here to share all about her two birth stories at Eastern Maine Medical Center in Bangor. Hi Rachel, welcome to my Main Birth. Hi, angela, how are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. Thanks, thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me today.
Rachel: 2:51
Of course, when I saw that you posted, I was like oh yeah, I have some interesting things to talk about.
Angela: 2:57
So I love talking about birth.
Rachel: 3:00
Yes, I have a friend who also had a friend who interviewed with you before, so that's how I heard about your podcast. And then when you posted, I was like, oh, I know what that is, so that was exciting, cool.
Angela: 3:14
I love it To jump right into your story. Would you start by sharing a little bit about you and your family?
Rachel: 3:22
Yeah, so we're a family of four now I have two kiddos and my husband. My son, who's my oldest, just turned four this year and then my youngest just turned a year last month. So three years in between pretty good age gap. I'm a stay-at-home mom but I also, like I'm a stay-at-home mom full-time, but I also dabble in like some work during the summer, like I work with a summer camp program right now. So I do that kind of stuff, but mostly at home. And we live just outside of Bangor, not too far. So just far enough away to be near like cow farms, but not far enough away where like running to town is a chore kind of thing.
Rachel: 4:12
So yeah, and we just we love the outdoors, we love swimming, hiking. I haven't done camping with the kids yet. I feel like that's a pretty big experience to do camping with the kids yet. I feel like that's a pretty big experience to do and travel taking the kids on a few trips to a couple of states so far.
Angela: 4:34
So yeah, it's just kind of like what we like to do. That sounds so fun, Awesome. Well, now to jump into your birth stories. Would you start by sharing a little bit about how you found out you were pregnant for the first time and what your thoughts were in choosing your care?
Rachel: 4:48
That's a little crazy. So I had no idea I was pregnant with my son, my first one, because I have PCOS. So I actually hadn't had a period since like the July of that year, which was normal. Like I've just experienced that through my whole life. But I just was feeling so gross and I like no idea why, because my husband and I weren't I know this sounds hilarious because, like you know the consequences but we weren't actually trying, like we were not planning to have a child yet, like we had been talking about it, like just started talking about, like maybe we're ready, but hadn't finalized. And then I just started feeling sick and gross and I was like I really don't like this.
Rachel: 5:33
And my mother-in-law hooked me up with her naturopath, who's an amazing woman. I still use her to this day and I love her. And so I went to see her and I was like, yeah, like I just need to be fixed, like I don't know what's wrong with me, and she's like have you taken a test? And I was like there's no way, because we're using protection, like blah, blah, blah. She's like I think you should try and totally like she's like I'm not going to do any of your blood work until I find out. So you kind of have to cause. I was like I don't really think I need to and I was like, fine, took it the next morning, very positive. I was like, oh my goodness, you know the, the feeling of like shock and amazement, of like that's not true, you know, and it was just wild. Um, so that's how I found out. So, surprise, you know, oh, we're going to good thing, we were talking about it, we're going to have a baby. But it was very exciting. My husband is excited and when we were talking about care, this time like I hadn't really dived into like specific care yet, like I hadn't even been thinking about that.
Rachel: 6:43
I'm the youngest in my family, so all of my cousins and siblings are like teens, like teen years older than me, you know. So they've already had their kids, but like a long time ago. So everything changed right. So I was like I don't know, I just knew that we weren't really into home births at the time. So it's like I, you know, I've heard about this place.
Rachel: 7:06
I was going to go for a small OB office but they had just closed. So then I went with um Northern light, so I went there because we're close to it and that you know I found an OB that I liked, cause I you can look them up and yeah. So that's what I did and I really just wanted someone who, like I always knew I wanted a natural birth, so I wanted someone who had experience in that. So that's what I like. If, for those of you listening you don't know, you can look up the OBs and they will tell you, like, what their experience is. So I did that, um, quite a few days before I chose one, so that was just kind of like the process of how that happened.
Angela: 7:48
Do you care to share? Who was the OB that you loved at Northern Light?
Rachel: 7:53
Yeah, I can totally share that. So, for both of my kiddos actually. Well, when we get to my daughter, if we get there, that was a whole thing. But I ended up with um Dr, what's her first?
Angela: 8:05
name.
Rachel: 8:05
Amanda Query for both of them and loved her. Uh, she was very great. Um, I really appreciate how straightforward she is. She's one of those that's straightforward and like this is how it is, you know, but I, we definitely were able to have conversations about where I was like no, I kind of want to back off from that a little bit, or like, yeah, I'm comfortable with that. She was really great with that.
Angela: 8:31
So yeah, awesome. So how are you feeling throughout that pregnancy?
Rachel: 8:38
So it was very exciting and you know I was learning all the things very exciting, and you know I was learning all the things, um, but ended up like almost losing my son at 20 weeks. So it was kind of like a highlight. Like took my mom to the anatomy scan because we waited that time until 20 weeks and we were going to do a gender reveal and my mom was in charge of that and they just happened to catch that something wasn't right and all that. So that was kind of like a you're riding the roller coaster to the top and then all of a sudden you just go, you know, and so that was pretty much of a roller coaster.
Rachel: 9:19
From then on, like I ended up having to have a surclage surgery the week after and I had been pretty active up until then but I went to full like couldn't do anything but get up to use the bathroom, basically from then on, and then having to have the surclage, and then I was hospitalized during 2021 for like a month. So no visitors, visitors just my husband. So the feelings were kind of mixed. Like I was excited, but also it was like scary, and you know, because they weren't sure how well the circlage was gonna hold, because I was already like dilated a little bit when they did it. So it was kind of like every day was like are we gonna make it to the next day? You, you know just kind of like racing time, I feel, like until I had my son. So yeah, it's kind of hard to explain the emotions that go into that fully, I think.
Angela: 10:19
But yeah, did you. Would you mind sharing a little bit about why they did the cerclage?
Rachel: 10:34
Yeah. So when they did the scan, they saw that my cervix had started like shortening and so they were hoping that maybe like some bed rest would do it. And then, when I went in the week after with my husband, it had shortened even more and they're like no, we have to do a surclage. So basically they had to. You know, it's just a stitch that closes your cervix so that it's supposed to help like the longevity of it, basically like to keep you, like to stop whatever is happening, um, and basically like hold your to stop whatever is happening, and basically like hold your baby in place throughout that time, because my son was very eager, he was actually like moving his way down. So they were like, no, we got to do this. And then when I was in the OR, the operating room, they realized I was already two centimeters dilated. So they were like, oh, my word, uh, it was even more necessary then.
Rachel: 11:29
So, but that's that's why they they do that, it's just to help and it it's hard because Dr Query has a really amazing success rate. Um, her and Dr Rinaldi, they actually were the ones that did my first one with my son and she has a great success rate. But it's really hard when you go into it because you know obviously they're irritating stuff down there, so like you could go into labor. You know they can't guarantee results or anything and it doesn't always work very long, you know. So it's always a little bit apprehensive when you have it. But they were really great, they did a great job.
Angela: 12:09
So yeah, feeling supported, at least in those moments, is really can make all the difference.
Rachel: 12:16
Yes, absolutely A hundred percent agree.
Angela: 12:20
Yeah, so how was the rest of your pregnancy looking then, leading up to when your labor started?
Rachel: 12:47
in there basically until I gave birth to him. But you know, a month of seeing no one but your husband for like two hours every night, and then you know it was during the end time of COVID, I guess. So, like, even when I got home I couldn't really see anybody, so it was just kind of lonely. So I really pushed to be like no, like if everything's still fine, like I want to go home because I want to be in a place where I'm comfortable and I want to see people in my family and they're like yeah, sure. So they did send me home and I was very good. I was very strict about like not doing anything, like my husband was super supportive and we live next to my in-laws actually, and she my mother-in-law helped so much too, and so it just was feeling like it was going great and, like I said, my son was growing very well and they were happy with his progress and they honestly didn't think he wouldn't make.
Rachel: 13:40
I had a scan like 31 and a half weeks, because I had to go in every week for them to check and they were like we can't believe that he's like made it this long. I was like I know, like it's so good. But then he decided he couldn't wait any longer and I ended up having him at exactly 31 weeks, which was really really good, because they didn't think I would. They really wanted to get me to 23, because that's when the NICU will take preemies with a good like. It's not a good guarantee, but it's enough for them to feel like you can have some good feelings about your baby being in there, basically. So, uh, you know, after everything, we weren't happy that we even made it that long. So it was, it was good and, um, yeah, it was just interesting. No one I had known had had an experience like that. So it kind of felt like I was, you know, going into a new frontier on my own and my husband, basically.
Angela: 14:45
But how did your labor start? Was it just shortly after that scan or how did? How did things go?
Rachel: 14:54
it was. So I had that scan and my son had always been very active, you know, very active, like all the time kick could, didn't ever have to really do kick counting because he was just that predictable which I know is not everyone's version, but that I was lucky to have that with him so he got one from that skin and like later that night, like I realized that I hadn't really felt him moving in a while and I was like that's so interesting, like you know, but maybe he's just sleeping for a long time, you know whatever. Didn't really think anything of it, but then he always would start kicking at three in the morning. He never did. And then I was like weird, and I did all the things like you know, laying down on your back drinking the juice, you know, poking and pronging a little bit, and he was just like not really doing anything. So I was concerned and so we called the OB and they took me in and they checked him out and they're like no, he's great, like he's moving. I was like okay, but I just didn't feel right do you know what I mean? Like I just felt like something. I just felt like something was off, but I didn't't know what cause I never had a baby before. I was like something just doesn't feel right. But they said he was fine and I had seen a lot of OBs filter through when I was staying at the hospital and it was Dr Anderson. Cannot remember his first name, but he was really great. He's the one that did it that day and he's like you know, just come back every day if you need to. And I was like that sounds good.
Rachel: 16:25
So went home and my son started wiggling around just a little tiny bit and I was like, okay, and I had a consulting business at the time that I was still doing like remote, just to kind of give myself something to do. And I had an appointment with someone that evening and like, leading up to it, like I just felt so awful. I was like, oh my gosh, what is happening? And then my lower back started to hurt so bad and I was like oh no, like did I sit wrong? Like what's happening? And it just kind of got worse and worse as the night progressed and in the back of my mind I had a voice being like you're probably in labor.
Rachel: 17:09
But I think I was in denial. So I was like no, I'm not because he's gonna stay in there until like 37 weeks. You know, I was just trying to do the whole positive, like no, no, it's, he's gonna. You know, we've made it this far, um, but basically like nine o'clock came around and it'd been like an hour and a half and my husband was like you need to call them. And I was like no, I'm fine. And he called them himself, cause he was, and he told them he's like I'm really concerned about her, but she says she's not coming in. They were like no, you need to get her in, like right now. And he's like okay, so he packed me up into the car and I'm like I just don't know what. Like there, nothing's gonna be wrong. And he's like I don't care, we need to go. And he was really great about like he knew I was delusional, but he was really great at not telling me like stop being delusional, you know what I mean.
Angela: 18:02
Like you're in labor land you are experiencing all those yeah labor right, yeah, exactly he, he was just very good and like calming.
Rachel: 18:12
He's like no, it doesn't matter, he's like we're still gonna go. And I was like, okay, get in there. And, um, I had a note like they had said I couldn't be have a cervical check because they didn't at any check, because they didn't at any time, because they didn't want to disturb the stitch because it was so fragile anyway. So I get in there and describe to them what's happening. They rushed me right into a room and at this point, like the pain's intensifying and like I fully know what is happening and I'm like trying to resist it because I'm like maybe it'll stop, you know, maybe you know whatever Um, so they I can't remember what they gave me and I that was so long ago and I feel so bad but they gave me something and a lot of fluids. They hooked me up to an IV cause they were thinking maybe I was dehydrated and if they rehydrated me they could get them to stop, so that maybe we thinking maybe I was dehydrated and if they rehydrated me they could get them to stop, so that maybe we could have a few more days, um see how much further we could push it. Basically that was always the game Like how much more time can we buy, basically. And I was like, okay, that's fine. Um, cause, when they hooked me up to the monitor, like I was having contractions, but they were very sporadic and they weren't matching with, like, the pain I was experiencing. So they were like, okay, well, maybe that's why they were like it's dehydration and like false labor kind of stuff. And I was like, yeah, okay, um, so there for quite a while and, um, feel, you know, everything kind of st stalled out. I was actually feeling pretty good and they're like okay. And I was like, yeah, like I'm actually feeling pretty good, you know. And now I know in my second one what that was. But I was like, yeah, no, this is fine.
Rachel: 20:00
And, um, at that time Dr Anderson had come back in. He was the OB that night and he was like well, I do have to check you before I let you go, obviously, because he's responsible. I was like, yeah, sure, and he did a check and he was like well, you're not going anywhere. He's like you're seven centimeters dilated. And I was like, really, he's like yeah.
Rachel: 20:25
So now it was my husband's turn to be in denial, because he's like oh, but you can like still stop it right. And he's like, no, he's like you're having a baby. And my husband was like what you know? So? And then it was my turn to be like it's okay. It's okay, like they said, we have a really good success right now.
Rachel: 20:38
Like you know, it was my turn, um, but I had had a steroid shot at 21 weeks. They had given that to me to help my son's lung development and it came in two doses. So they gave me the second dose and I needed to have it in my system for at least two to four hours. So they really bumped up again wish I know what it was, but I cannot remember whatever they were giving me to stall it, because they just really wanted to make sure that he had good lung capacity and then, after the amount of time had come, that they felt okay with me progressing. The problem was they had stalled it too much. So now I was like not doing anything.
Rachel: 21:28
But you know, the preemie, you can't really. They didn't want to send me home, they didn't really put it up to chance. So they gave me Pitocin to kind of jump started into gear, and so after that it progressed rather quickly actually for me which is not the case for a lot of women, but for me it did Uh. And then yeah, ended up having him early in the morning and it was great. He did great Um. They were happy with how it went and I was able to have it naturally, like I had wanted to, um, which I was very happy about because I, you know, I never given birth before. I didn't know if I could do it, but I did so, yeah. And then they it's kind of hard to explain to people like you have your baby and they wrapped him all up and you know he just started crying from the beginning and they're like, oh, my word, we can't believe that you know they were expecting him not to do anything.
Rachel: 22:26
He had a good set of lungs on him, so that's really worked for sure. And you know, they wrapped him all up and gave him to my husband and I for a picture and then they just like took him away and you know, you're there, you've had your baby, and you have this euphoric like whoa, what's happening. So I'm just kind of like, what are you doing? Like my brain was like what are you doing? You know, like I I knew what they were doing, but my brain was like, uh, and I told my husband I was like they're taking our baby, like you need to stop them, and he was like, oh, and he felt bad, but he went with them because I wanted, you know, obviously, someone with our son. So then you know you're just laying there and you're like, oh, my word, did I have a baby? You know, cause there's no baby there.
Rachel: 23:10
So, uh, I think that was just a unique experience to recover. Like the nurses were incredible. They were so supportive. Um, morgan, I nurse Morgan like she was great. Um, she was there to help me and stayed with me the whole time while my husband was gone and like moved me and and all that stuff. So yeah, that's kind of how that went. So once it got going it was pretty fast and furious, but, you know, a little different than other people's labor and delivery stories probably.
Angela: 23:43
So yeah, yeah, how were things going like immediately postpartum for you? When were you able to meet him for the first time? And, yeah, what did that look like for you?
Rachel: 23:55
Yeah. So once I was able to, you know they do the test, like you have to get up and use the bathroom first before they move you. So after that they do the test, like you have to get up and use the bathroom first before they move you. So after that, and I was moved, um, they did tell my husband down in the NICU like, oh, she's been moved to the postpartum ward, like you can go see her. So he came up to see me and basically that same afternoon well, they didn't really want me to. I think they would have wanted me to do it like the next day. Um, I'd had no bleeding complications or anything like that. But I think, just because like it was you know, it's traumatic, you know, like you're not full term, you know, and it's just like it was a whole thing Um, so they, they really wanted me to wait, but I told them that I was seeing my son that afternoon. Whether they said yes or not, I was like so, you know, get me a wheelchair or whatever. And so, um, they let me in that afternoon, but I was only given a half hour because I was tired, he was tired and they were having to do all these tests on him to make sure it was okay. And, um, he didn't ever have to be on a CPAP machine, which was incredible. Um, he just had to have a little like just light oxygen support for that day. But after that and I think they were also concerned about that Like they didn't want to mess up any of the things, um, but then after that I got to see him as long as I wanted to.
Rachel: 25:27
I was discharged the next day and I saw him pretty much all morning before I was discharged and I wanted to go right back but my husband was like no, you need to stay home and like sleep, and I was like, okay, but then every day after that, like I was in there pretty much from like 8am until like 7pm at night. You know I was there like all day Cause I had been able to make that work with my business and my husband's work, so like that was good. So it was just really weird. You know you just have to leave them every time. You know like you don't take them with you, you leave them and hope that everything's going to be OK.
Rachel: 26:15
But the NICU nurses were great and we had two that were the same during the day, the whole time, and they were there from the very beginning that I met him until he was discharged, and they were incredible. They've been doing it for many years, um, and so they really helped with that transition, especially those first couple of days when I was still in the hospital. Like immediately, cause they? They knew what I was feeling. You know they'd worked in there many years, but they also knew I needed to go sleep. So they're like it's okay, we'll call you if something happens. And I was like, okay, but yeah, it was good to just have people that you can trust. So that was a big thing. How long was he in the NICU?
Angela: 26:57
for.
Rachel: 26:59
He was only in there for exactly one month, which was really incredible. That is not a story that a lot of NICU parents can say. So we're very thankful for that. But, um, and to this day he still holds true to it. He is a fighter and if you tell him something he's going to be defiant and say, no, I'm going to do the opposite of that. So he's just always had that spirit in him to that. So he's just always had that spirit in him. So that's that's what it was. I mean, yeah, he just did really great he.
Rachel: 27:36
He took to nursing pretty, pretty well for a NICU baby. They were very, very supportive, the nurses and helping me with that journey. One in particular she was very like ready to help me. She called lactation down to help, even though, like some of the doctors were like no, like you really shouldn't do it, like you should just focus on pumping. And she's like no, no, like you can do it, like he's ready.
Rachel: 27:56
So that was really great and I think you know I'm one of those people and I think many are that like the wonders of nursing, you know. So I don't know how much that played into it too, but maybe something, because after that I was able to. I wasn't a big, big supplier, but I was able to get enough where he was pretty much getting fortified bottles pretty much every day once we started doing that certified bottles pretty much every day once we started doing that. So I think that also helped, because I know that a lot of women it's hard when you don't have them, you know, to get something. So the fact that I was able to get that was pretty great for me so I think that helped a lot how was your postpartum like?
Angela: 28:41
kind of after you all got home, how was that looking for you?
Rachel: 28:45
yeah it was.
Rachel: 28:46
It started out good, but then it just really kind of declined really quickly. Like I think that just having to be, I guess I would say, on all the time like super positive, like, yeah, everything's going to be fine. And then you know, he gets home and he was an amazing sleeper in the hospital, but it was like the minute we got him home he was like no, I'm never going to sleep again. So that was a hard transition and at that point, like my supply actually really started to decline a lot and I was just feeling really stressed and I really started getting really heavy postpartum depression. And it was very delayed. But I think it's just because, like I said, like I felt like I just had to be super, like strong and like super mom the whole time, like no, like I can't give into this. Like you know, I got to stay strong for him. He's still in there. And then, once we got him home, I think my body just felt safe to be like oh no, like we can't keep this up anymore. And it's not because I didn't, you know, like I think a lot of women can say like my husband was so supportive, like he'd never dealt with children at all before, but he learned really quickly like how to bottle feed and like how to change a diaper and like how to soothe him and and all that. And so I was just kind of lip. You know, I was just existing for quite a bit.
Rachel: 30:19
Um, and I did seek therapy. You know it took me a while but finally, like between my doctor and like my husband, you know I I wanted to try a different method besides medication. Just for personal reasons, like I've just had different effects from other ones in my past, I was like I just don't really want to do that unless I have to. So, but I did seek therapy and that was life changing and it was super helpful. But it did take a while and I think, just because you know it didn't work out the way I wanted to, you know like it was traumatic and it was all these things that I didn't expect and like having to deal with it. And then you know the constant like follow-ups and worrying, like is he doing okay? Like you know, do I need to be worried about this? You know, calling the doctor all the time like this is what's happening, like I don't know what to do, Um, just kind of gets to you after a while. So but yeah, it was.
Rachel: 31:21
It was definitely a journey, but I'm really thankful that I had people that encouraged me to find help, because I wasn't even enjoying being a mom, which is not like me. Like I've worked with children like many, many years of my life and I'd always wanted to be a mom and so, like the fact that I like didn't enjoy it, it was super hard. So I think this one, my husband knew that something wasn't right when I was like I just don't enjoy it. It was super hard. So I think this one, my husband knew that something wasn't right when I was like I just don't want to do this anymore, you know.
Rachel: 31:49
And it was came to the point where I even contemplated, like in the middle of the night, like if I just leave, like if I just take the car and I just take myself on a journey, like no one's going to miss me, like he'll be fine, um, that's really when it was like a wake up call, like no, like you need to talk to someone about what's happening, um, so yeah, that was kind of like basically the first year of my son's life after having him was just kind of dealing with that and like figuring out how to be a mom through that type of stage, uh, something I never been through before.
Rachel: 32:27
And then, you know, after about a year, like I started actually feeling like more like myself and like really enjoying enjoying life and getting back into it and started finding enjoyment in being a mom which is ironic because it only gets harder after a year, I feel like, but you know, but yeah, we made it through and I love him and he's four years old and strong and has beaten everything that they've ever given him. So very proud of him, yeah.
Angela: 32:57
Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, postpartum can in some cases be really dark waters to navigate, you know, and deep, deep dark waters and and yeah, just finding your way through and it's hard, you know, because you obviously we all love our kids and when you have those feelings it just can be so confusing and right, Cause you're like it's not me, but I don't know, but but it is.
Rachel: 33:23
You know, it's kind of like this weird, you know two people at the same time, duality thing.
Angela: 33:27
But yeah, it's hard sometimes, for sure, yeah yeah, integrating a hard birth experience can can take time, yeah, so when did you start thinking about your second? Or how did you find out you were pregnant for the second time?
Rachel: 34:04
and 11 years older than me, and my husband's actually the older of five and he and his siblings are pretty, you know, like three, two to three years space in between each of them. So, um, he grew up really close with his siblings and I, you know, I knew my siblings but, you know, when I was five, like, my sister was in college and my brother was just graduating, you know, so I didn't really have that kind of experience. So I wanted that for my children personally. Um, but, like you know, we didn't plan for my son, so I had no idea how it was gonna. When he was oh, now I have to do some math when he was a year and a half, yeah, about a year and a half. Well, I would say it was February of 2022. So, yeah, he was a little more than a year and a half. We were like, okay, I feel like we're ready to start because, you know, we didn't know how long it was going to take, but if it happened, like right away for some reason, like we were comfortable with the age gap, like that'd be fine and, you know, just wanted to do it. So it was like okay.
Rachel: 35:17
So that led into an 18 month infertility journey of like a whole bunch of stuff. Like I, you know, had to eat, like had to figure out like so many tests with my naturopath, like what's happening with my body, Like how do I deal with this? What do I need to take, what do I need to eat or not eat, you know that kind of stuff. Um, and then I went to I just felt like I really need to do a trip for myself. I was like you know what, like I need to do a girl's trip, and so I went and visited a friend in Florida and in between my son and our daughter I'd had three miscarriages and the last one was really hard because I found out right around our wedding anniversary and I was like, oh, now I have something to like share with him and then, like the next day like I ended up losing the baby. So I didn't actually really tell my husband until a little bit after because I was just like so sad, you know, I was like like man, like I thought this is going to be a special like thing.
Rachel: 36:25
So I was after that, I would say I kind of lost interest in trying. We weren't really trying very hard anymore, Cause I was like this is just really hard. If it doesn't happen, it's fine, Like I'm happy with our son, but I just felt like I needed to have a trip for myself to just kind of free myself from the whole like pressure of it all. So, yeah, I went to see a friend and that was like is that October? Yeah, October, and I had not been feeling like myself and she and I had been super close and she'd just been close to me during this journey and she was like did you? And I just happened to bring a travel bag that had some leftover tests in it and we were at this Airbnb and she's like you know, you should just take one. She's like you've just done. She's like you've just been acting weird. You said you've been feeling weird.
Rachel: 37:17
She's like just take one, and if it's not, like whatever, we'll go and like have a margaritas, or like have a, um, you know, have a morning beverage or whatever. And I was like, yeah, sure, you know a brunch. I was like, okay, sure, and um, so I did, and I was shocked, to say the least, that it was very, very positive. Once again, I was like shut up. I actually took two more than I had and I had to tell her she's like, no, it's really positive. I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe it.
Rachel: 37:48
And I was just sitting there like no, that can't be true, you know, cause it just been so long. You know, I just didn't feel like it could be true. Um, it was even so that I didn't tell my husband at all Cause I was going home that next day. I was like I want to tell my husband at all because I was going home that next day. I was like I want to tell him like in person, like I don't want to tell him like over the phone, and so like I was still in disbelief the next day that when I got home, it was like 11 o'clock at night and I took a pregnancy test just to make sure, like a real one, like a digital one to make sure before I told my husband and it was positive and so I I told him we were excited because he, you know, he'd been feeling like sad and you know I think people don't talk about how hard it is on the guys too, you know, because he had some tests, like it wasn't anything with him, it was all on me.
Rachel: 38:44
But he also felt bad that like there wasn't anything he could do for me, you know. So he was just really relieved and excited and uh, yeah, so it was crazy to find out on a girl's trip. I feel like other people have a story, but for you know, it was a little different. But, um, yeah, if my friend hadn't convinced me, I was just planning on not taking one until I was like throwing up, basically. So thank goodness she told me to take one, because otherwise who knows how long it would have been before I realized.
Angela: 39:13
So oh my goodness. So what were your thoughts in choosing your care after you found out?
Rachel: 39:22
Yeah, because it was a little different. So I did. You know, northern Light was really great with my son, you know, obviously, like they helped save him and they were really awesome. But I really, after having him and going through that and then like just really researching more, as we were actually planning on having a baby, you know, I felt like I could actually prepare this time. I just really looked into more.
Rachel: 39:51
Some people would say the crunchy side, you know, the more like less medical involved side. Like that really appealed to me. My naturopath's also a midwife and doula but, like, because I was high risk and I'm forever going to be called high risk, she can't actually be a midwife, but she could be a doula. So I was like, okay, I would really like that this time. I just really thought that would be really helpful to me to have an extra support in there. And then I just really wanted something in a little bit of a smaller place with an OB that was a little more leaning towards that that end as well. So I ended up going to Mayo in Dover for quite a few months.
Rachel: 40:38
However, like because of my PCOS and like having to go from very active to like not active at all, and then having a baby, and then like dealing with depression and postpartum. Like I was considered a little too overweight for them, so I had to be very strict about like what I ate and what I did. Like I could still exercise a little bit, but it was a very, very small window and I did pretty good a little bit, but it was a very, very small window and I did pretty good. And then my thyroid medication got mixed, messed up, so that actually did not help and they actually had to send me to Northern light once more. But I ended up getting Dr Query again, so that felt good to me.
Rachel: 41:18
Yeah, I just really wanted to prioritize that like less intervention, because I just really was thinking, if everything goes well, like I just want to have not very many people involved, not very many things involved, like I just want to have as close to a home birth as I can, but I had to do it in a hospital, like I couldn't have it in a different clinic or not. I couldn't have it in a different clinic or not. So that was my goal going into my second pregnancy was to try and get that feeling as close as possible, you know, as you can. So that was kind of my, my goal and idea.
Angela: 41:56
Do you care to share how your naturopath is? I know you said a lot of good things with her, about her in the beginning too.
Rachel: 42:02
She's a midwife and doula too oh yeah, um, she, I just she's not taking any new patients because she's so busy, but she's Dr Morgan Titus Rau. She's from Baselboro I'm sure so many people have heard of her by this point. Um, she's really incredible. Yeah, and she and even though she and I didn't say this, like when my son, like I literally had met her the day before I found out I was pregnant and then like didn't see her again until after I'd had my son and was like something is wrong, and she was the one who was like I think you might be suffering from postpartum depression and I was like, oh my gosh, so shout out to her for just sticking with me and like only knowing me one time and then letting me return, come back and, um, yeah, so she's, she's really great.
Angela: 42:52
So that's who she is, but look her up, she's, she's really incredible so awesome and she was able to support you still in the hospital for this birth.
Rachel: 43:03
Yes, yes, thankfully, northern Light is really great about doulas so she was able to come in and be really great and part of her doula package that you get is basically like you can talk to her and message her anytime between when you have her as your doula, to like even after you give birth, like I would message her and like talk to her about things all the time. And like when I was trying to really stay with Mayo and Dover, she was really helpful in trying to curate like a good diet that was healthy and balanced but realistic. You know, um, because I did end up having to have a circlage given my daughter, but not because anything was happening, but just because, like after you have one, they do want to any time after that, just as a precautionary sort of thing. Cause unfortunately with incommunicative cervix is like there's not enough, even though other women suffer with it. There's not enough data in between any women suffer with it. There's not enough data in between any of them to decide how or when it will happen.
Rachel: 44:09
So you know she was able to help me figure out like how I could stay active, but that was still safe and good and would still help prepare my body, but not like put any stress on it. So yeah, it was just really awesome. And then you know, being pregnant with a toddler, you know that was also it's a whole different ball game. You know, like there's tired pregnant and then there's tired pregnant with a toddler, you know, no nap, who doesn't take naps anymore. So that's like a whole different thing. So she was great in helping with that too. So Great.
Angela: 44:43
So how are you feeling like overall throughout this pregnancy?
Rachel: 44:48
I felt really great, honestly, like it was so textbook, like nothing ever happened, like didn't ever show any signs of incompetence or rex at all. Like my daughter grew super well, she was also quite a mover and shaker like my son. So again, I was very privileged to not have to really worry about the whole like kick count thing. Like I could guarantee, um, you know when she was going to do that or whatever, um, so, yeah, it was just feeling really good and it was nice to be able to like still go on walks and, you know, be with my son. It was just hard during this pregnancy because with the surquage, like you can't lift a certain amount. So, like I wasn't able to like carry my son the whole time, but like we could sit together, you know, and that that was a hard transition for him, but but it it was just really nice and peaceful. But then, like in the back of your mind, you're always like questioning every little thing, like, oh, is that pain? Like something I need to be concerned about? Or is that just like ligament pain? Like oh, I don't feel good today, like is, should I look deeper into it? Or is it just because, like I'm pregnant and that's what happens, you know, um, so if anyone else has been through that journey maybe they can relate. But, like you know, it's interesting because when you're surrounded by people and I'm not saying this at all to like make anyone feel bad or anything, but you know a lot of it is butterflies and rainbows for people. Their pregnancy, you know like it's great. They love being pregnant. It's great. I don't just because it's so anxiety ridden, because you just don't. You, I just realized, when my son is so unpredictable, you know, I think that's what I really realized Like it's not a guarantee thing, like once you're pregnant, like it is so unpredictable and like also amazing but you just never know.
Rachel: 46:51
So there's always in the back of your mind like like this is just so hard because like I don't know what's going to happen, like everything was going well with him before, but then it kind of took a hard turn, so like is that going to happen again? Um, but then, like you know, I have my son who is very like he's very empathetic and like very sensitive. So you know he knew I was having a surgery and why. So he was also very concerned. So having to like kind of play that off for him and be like no, it's fine, you know, we're in the back of your mind, you're like I hope it is, because how do I explain to my son it actually wasn't fine, you know?
Rachel: 47:31
Um, so yeah, it was happy. But also, like my husband would say the same thing, like you just kind of are like are you doing? Okay? Like every day we would have a check-in of like how am I doing, how am I feeling, should we be concerned? Is everything great? So yeah, it's. I feel like that sounds super negative. But I also want to be honest if anyone else is going through like the same thing, where you know you just kind of have to learn, where you can be happy and also like apprehensive at the same time, based on just past experiences.
Angela: 48:04
So yeah, I really appreciate you sharing that perspective because, yeah, everybody goes through these things differently. So how were things looking like those kind of last few weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started?
Rachel: 48:28
your labor started, yeah. So she was a huge tease. So I had oh my gosh, what is the word I have false labor basically for like two weeks before I had her, and it was so uncomfortable and I was like, oh my gosh, um. So I was able to make it full term with her, but you get the sacrage removed at 36 weeks, just in case. You know, she ended up, I ended up having her at 36 weeks, you know. So that happened and basically after that I was like, okay, anytime, like I'd never been that pregnant before and it was like starting to get hot and I was like, oh my gosh, like let's go, um.
Rachel: 49:01
And then false labor sort of started. So I'd have contractions on and off, but they weren't bad, like, and I was like, oh, really, but she was growing great, like she was doing wonderful. She was like head down, like everything was wonderful. And then the weekend before she was born, I was really having a lot of frontal contractions and I was like, oh my gosh, like I think this is like. They were pretty consistent and I was like I think this is the time and you know from past experience with my son, like, because before they had stopped my labor. Like they had and I didn't even mention this before, but they had mentioned how fast my progression had been from like going in at two to like all of a sudden being seven, like it was not, it was a very short window. Um, even when they were trying to like stall it like it was a very short window. So, you know, dr Morgie and I had had known that it was probably going to be fairly quick this time around, because then, once they started me back into labor, like again, it did not take long for me to have him. So I was like prepared like to have him have her, like very soon after I like had to go in.
Rachel: 50:18
So, yeah, we went in and called Dr Morgie and we're like, yeah, like this is happening, and she actually like bless her heart, like she came all the way up to bangor and they got me in there and I had never, you know, I've been a few years since I had been in there, so I didn't know any of these nurses and there was, like I it was near the end of the shift change I I will say that. So I would say the atmosphere wasn't exactly very welcoming because they were all tired and like you know, like, oh my word, this lady. But like not really much is happening because all of a sudden, like it stalled and I was like what the heck? Like I had waited a long time before coming in. And once Dr Morgie got there, like we saw, and the nurse came in and like my daughter was very low and she just like went floop like right back up and I was like OK, and then everything just stopped and I was like I guess you're not comfortable being born today. You know like, oh my word.
Rachel: 51:19
So you know, dr Mori gave me some things to do and she'd been really encouraging me to take a bath and I just been so resistant. Can't tell you why. I think it's just the pregnancy hormones. Like no, I'm not gonna do it, like I don't have the energy to do that after dealing with my son and bedtime and all these things.
Rachel: 51:38
But it just kind of after that, like that was the Saturday, sunday, oh my word, so tired. I was like I'm just so done with this. And my husband was like why don't you just do what she says? And I'm like, because I just don't understand how it's going to make a difference. I was like, yeah, maybe it'll make me feel relaxed, but like, obviously that's the answer Right, but I was just so. I guess I cannot explain why.
Rachel: 52:03
But then that Monday, like it just been so hard, like I'd had contractions on and off, but they were the same and they were like very short, like nothing, and I had done everything Like I'd been going on long walks, I had started drinking raspberry tea, like a few days before. You know, I had a couple of days like I was trying all the things. I was like we're going to get this baby out of here, cause also I'd had an appointment that Monday morning. Um, it was my second to last one, and my last one was on my due date and they were basically like, yeah, well, if you don't have her by the time you come in on your due date, like we're giving you a membrane sweep and I was like that's not what.
Rachel: 52:41
I want and they were basically like cause I and Dr Corey, I would say, was a little bit pushier in this, but she's like no, like you need to, and I was like I don't think so. So I was really, really trying very hard to get her to come before that because I didn't want to be induced, because I remembered what the Pitocin was like. I was like no, no, no, like I don't want that again. And so I just surrendered and I was like what the heck? Like my house is all clean, like I had gotten everything the way that I had wanted it for when my daughter was born. My son actually went to bed really easily that night, Blessings. And I was like I am just going to do it, like what the heck, I'm just gonna take this stupid bath. Like that's what I said out loud, like I'm just gonna take this stupid bath and we're just gonna see what happens. And it was the best math I think I've ever had. Like I set up my little life. It was so incredible. I like had it just the perfect temperature. I had my little like snacks that I like my little energy snacks that I started eating to like help encourage, like lactation when the baby came and like all this stuff, and I had my electrolyte drink and I set up a little like screen so I could like watch my show. And, um, my husband does MMA, so he'd gone to the MMA gym that night because I was like I don't know how much longer you're gonna be able to do this for this baby, so like, just go, you know, and just go and come back and I'll be fine.
Rachel: 54:19
It was, I was in that bath for like two hours and he came home and he's like, where are you? And he's like, are you still in the bath? And I was like, yeah, because it's incredible. And he was like, okay, um, and so we stayed up and just chatted that night and we're like, you know, we feel really good. And he's like, if you do end up having to like have this thing, he's like it's not the end of the world, like you can do it. He's like you had our son and he was just really great. It's like you can do hard things. He's like you can do this again. I was like, okay, you know, cause even though you've had a baby before, it's still nerve wracking. You don't know what's going to happen once labor starts. You know it's all unpredictable, um, so I'd actually, for the first time felt like so relaxed and like not stressed at all and I was like this feels really good.
Rachel: 55:10
Um, woke up before that following morning back labor, starting in, just like my son had, and I was like okay, and I really felt it. I was like okay, I feel like now is the time. But I didn't want to go in too early again Cause you know, the hospital isn't necessarily really keen when you do that, and I didn't want to be sent away with my son. You know that'd just be too confusing. So, um, I was like you know, I'm going to try and get as much sleep as I can. You know, really hydrate. And I had a little snack and I was like I'm just going to try and get as much sleep as I can. And I was like and when I can't sleep anymore, that's when I know that we need to go. So I was able to doze on and off until about like 630.
Rachel: 56:00
And it had been like off and on on, but it started really like actually kicking in at like 6 30 and I was like okay, like we're gonna get up and I'm gonna take a shower, because I was like I don't know when the next time I'm gonna take a shower is, so I'm gonna take a shower and wash my hair, like I was determined that was gonna happen.
Rachel: 56:19
Um, and so I did that and basically, like the alarm went off for my husband and I was standing there and I was like you got it, we got to go. I was like you got to like call your brother and I'm going to call my parents because he's going to watch him until my parents get here. But we have to go, like now. And he was like like now. And I was like like now, and I was like, yeah, like now. So, yeah, that's kind of how it all was leading up to labor was, once it started, it really started in, but it was a slow. I mean, she really prepped herself, that's for sure. But yeah, when she was ready, she was like, yeah, let's go.
Angela: 56:57
So, oh, my gosh.
Rachel: 57:04
So how was it when you got to the hospital then? This time, yeah, it was much better, um, because I had called ahead. Well, it's funny, because I had an ultrasound appointment that morning and I called the hospital and they're like okay, well, you just need to go to the the women's health office, because then you'll skip registration, they'll just send you right up. I was like great, um called them right when they opened and, uh, no one called me back. So I'm like we should just go in. But my husband convinced me we should go to my ultrasound appointment and I was like okay. So the ultrasound tech sweetest woman was like, oh gosh, she's like, yeah, you're really having this baby. And I was like, I know, but no one is like calling me back to like get me up into labor and delivery. Um, so she called them and I spent 30 minutes in the office in labor because they were like messing with the computer and I was trying not to be like I. I was, you know, trying to not make a scene, but I was so uncomfortable. And my husband, finally, was like she's going to sit down and wait and you need to someone send someone like right now. He's like she's actually like having this baby and I'm like my word Okay, and so I get back.
Rachel: 58:15
They insisted that I have an NST you know the stress test and I was like I and I knew that I was in transition because I felt the same way I had with my son and I was like I told Bill, I was like my husband, I was like I'm going to throw up all over this office because I just I was like I need to get to a room. I was like I do not want to have this baby in this little office hooked up to these monitors. Like I want to be in a labor and delivery room. So, and my daughter wasn't having it anyway, she was not staying. Still, she's like I'm ready. And they were getting frustrated. And finally he was like can we just have the OB? Like I just need the OB to come in and be like, yeah, you need to go. So the OB came in and she's like, okay, I'm here to check you. And like she looked and like didn't even really do anything. She's like, yeah, you're at like probably seven centimeters.
Rachel: 59:07
And I was like I know, and I got up, my water broke like all over their little testing place and I was like I'm so sorry. And she's like, oh no, you need to go. And she got me up there so fast. Um, and so, on the way up, my husband's calling our doula and he's like yeah, cause I had been texting her. And she's like, no, like I'll just wait till like you're pretty close. She's like because we want to see what the hospital will do. So we called her Dr Murray. And he's like yeah, it's time. And she's like, oh, my gosh, I'm actually seeing another patient. But like I'll end it super quick and get to you, but it's going to be about an hour. And I was like I don't know if I have an hour. Um, cause it was really progressing like really fast.
Rachel: 59:48
And the day nurse was like wow, you're like really going. I was like I know, um, but my husband was so great, like we had curated a playlist and like he just sent me down. We had taken some snacks and electrolytes in our bags, so he was like making sure that I like got some things. Um, he set the playlist going and he's and I had told him like I want to, I need to move around, like that's what I want. I was like and you need to help me do that, cause I'm probably not going to want to. And he was like starting to be like you really need to move around and I was like, yeah, but I don't want to have this baby before Dr Morgan gets here, like I want her to be here.
Rachel: 1:00:29
I was determined and around 11, she came and I was really really in it and she's like okay, was really really in it and she's like okay, and you know they, the hospital was great, like I didn't have any hookups. They had put an IV port in in case they needed to hook me up, but I wasn't hooked up to anything. I didn't have to have any monitors on my belly, like I was free range, you know, because everything was great. And she's like well, when did you go to the bathroom? She's like have you peed lately? And I was like, oh my gosh, not since, like so long ago. And she's like, well, she's like, well, when did you go to the bathroom? She's like have you peed lately? And I was like, oh my gosh, not since, like so long ago. And she's like well, she's like I think you really need to. And then you know, then we'll walk around. From there she goes because this might be holding things up. And I was like, oh, okay, so we go.
Rachel: 1:01:24
And as soon as I had peed, like wow, I felt the urge and I was like I am, I was like I'm not doing anything, but this baby is coming. And she's like, oh my gosh. So you know my husband again in disbelief, I think, just the shock of it happening. And he's like what? And she's like you need to call the nurses because she's not having a baby on a toilet. And he's like, okay, and she's like you need to call the nurses because she's not having a baby on a toilet. And he's like, okay, so he runs out and does that, she gets me back to the bed. And we get there.
Rachel: 1:01:47
And they came in and they checked and they're like she's only eight. And I was like I don't. And they're like you need to stop pushing. And I was like I. It was like you know, my body was doing it on its own. I was like you know, my body was doing it on its own. I was like I am not doing anything, like there is no stopping this. And they were starting to like make me panic a little bit, cause they're like you can't have this baby right now, like you're only eight centimeters dilated, like that's not good and that's.
Rachel: 1:02:14
I'm super thankful that I my body was able to wait until Dr Morgan got there, because she was like it's okay, like just don't worry about them, and she actually took a cold washcloth and like put it over my eyes Because somehow she had me on the bed to like open up my hips a little bit more to really encourage. And she was like you're going to just be here and your husband is going to do the. You know he has this forehead rub that I was really like it was making me feel like less stress. She's like you're going to do that and you're just going to not, you're not going to focus on anything but yourself and what your body is doing. And she's like and I'm going to deal with everybody else. She's like you don't need to worry about it. She's like no matter how many people come in here, if you need to be worried about something, I will tell you. She's like, but until then, like you, just you, you do what you need to do. She's like it's going to be okay. She's like it doesn't matter what they say, like your baby will be fine and it'll be fine.
Rachel: 1:03:12
I was like okay, and so like I was really able to just like surrender, and all of a sudden I just remember, like two minutes later, her being like we need a doctor, like right now she's like because the baby is here and I can't catch it, you know.
Rachel: 1:03:29
And so I just remember like being there and like all of a sudden, just like you know, having your body just doing it on its own and then feeling the ring of fire and being like your body just do it on its own and then feeling the ring of fire and being like, oh, my word, like I'm so close.
Rachel: 1:03:45
And then she just came right out in like 12 minutes, like it was 12 minutes of the whole pushing process and she had been born. And I was like wow, like talk about totally different from my son, cause with my I had done like actual like pushing myself, like you know I had to, but like um, yeah, that was crazy how fast it was. And like I cannot even get over it to this day. And like she, you know, had come out so fast that she hadn't been able to have a lot of the fluid pushed out of her lungs, so like she didn't cry right away. So that was a little like, oh my word. But then when she started she was, she was great. So, yeah, it was a little fast and furious there for that one.
Angela: 1:04:33
So oh, my goodness, so was it? Was there like calm when everybody came into the room as your baby like was emerging, or was it Well?
Rachel: 1:04:42
so what's hilarious is my cousin, northern Light. They have this policy where if no one's actually like if a baby is not actually being pushed out, I guess they have to go see other patients. So, like all of those people had gone to the other side of the women's building, to the other side of the women's building. So when they came in it was the OB on on that day, plus like four other intern doctors and like three other nurses, so there was like a whole group of people that like came in. So I just remember like hearing a flurry, cause the whole time, like I had this washcloth on me the whole time, like not seeing anything, um, but I just remember hearing like a flurry of feet coming in and the OB being like, wow, there's a baby there, you know, like, oh, look, there's a head of a baby.
Rachel: 1:05:29
So, yeah, not super calm, but, like you know, once the nurse told her what was happening, she was like oh, yeah, well, we'll just sit here and wait, you know, until you know it happens. And then I felt like then I feel like the other people kind of like calm down, you could feel the energy kind of like oh, okay, we're okay, you know. So, yeah, it was. It was pretty funny and I'm glad I had the washcloth because I think if I didn't I would have been overwhelmed, because when I came off and I saw the people I was like, oh my word, I didn't know so many people had shown up.
Angela: 1:06:06
So yeah, I was like, oh, my word, I didn't know so many people had shown up, so yeah, I was just pretty funny and different.
Rachel: 1:06:10
But so how was your like immediate postpartum? Yeah, that was. That was even different than my son. So after I had like given birth to my daughter, like she actually like started latching like herself, like she was ready and like that was pretty incredible and like I'd actually started producing colostrum early, like I hadn't done that with my son. So I was feeling good about that, so I was nursing her and just kind of you know, in this euphoric bliss, and the OB was like, hey, where are these contractions Like you haven't had the placenta yet. And I was like, hey, where are these contractions Like you haven't had the placenta yet. And I was like, oh, my word, there's still more. But I had actually like my body and just full stop, they're like, yeah, we're done. So I was like, oh no.
Rachel: 1:06:52
So I had to actually push out the placenta, which then led to a lot of hemorrhaging, um, quite a bit. And so they gave me a little bit of Pitocin to try and encourage some contractions, like stop that. That didn't work at all. Nothing happened. So not long after that they tried a suppository, but that didn't help at all and it was kind of coming to where, like I was starting to feel a little weak and like I knew that I had lost a lot of fluid and blood. And so they. Then the OB was like, ok, I'm going to have to go and do this myself. And so she had to. I don't know, I can't remember the procedures called, but she had to go and, like, get everything herself, and that, I would say, is way worse than actually having a baby. I was. It was not fun at all, but that did work, thankfully.
Rachel: 1:07:50
So I was in the labor and delivery room for quite a long time this time and because my daughter had been born so fast, I was very swollen. I had her naturally again, like my son. So I had no catheter or anything to worry about. But I had to go. You know, I had to get up in his bathroom before they could move me and I was like, oh my gosh, like I don't know. So that took a long time, but then I was finally moved and it was just other than that. It was great.
Rachel: 1:08:24
You know, I did have to have quite a lot of frequent checks because of the bleeding, um, but I didn't end up having to have like any blood transfusions or anything Like, thankfully, it started like not being as much as the day progressed, so, um, so that was good and like just, I don't know, it was just so incredibly different Like to have your baby stay with you, because obviously I never experienced that before. So like holding her when we went to the room and like her still being there and then like having her overnight, it was like whoa, like this is crazy, but it was really good and, yeah, it was just really really great. It was just a really, I think, healing experience from you know, from when I had my son, um, so that that was really nice for me to like have that, I think so so how was your postpartum once you guys all got home, and how are things looking over those next like few months?
Rachel: 1:09:32
yeah, it was really great, um, so we actually had my son come in and meet her like the day after she was born. My parents brought him in and he thought she was a cute little baby doll and I was like no, she's real, she's going to come home with us. Um, and we actually had set it up so that when we, the first day we were home, my son was going to still be with my parents, because we we really wanted to have one night because, you know, we knew from like other people's experience, like the first night home with your new newborn was always the hardest. So I was like, okay, I would really prefer that our son is in home, because then he'll you know, we'll kind of get used to how she sleeps a little bit. We'll get through that hard part. You know, we'll kind of get used to how she sleeps a little bit. We'll get through that hard part. My milk will come in, hopefully and, like you know, we'll do all that. So that was good.
Rachel: 1:10:28
But then, like my milk didn't come in for quite a long time actually, even though, like I felt like we were just nursing like around the clock, like, oh, all the time, like every 10 minutes. I felt like we were nursing and so, um, so my son came back and we took her to her today appointment. But she lost a lot of weight and so I found Dr Mori got me in contact with people to like get some milk, some breast milk, from other moms while we waited, and we did that and then my milk did end up coming in, but then as it progressed, like I was producing quite a bit but she didn't seem to be really getting as much when she nursed, but, like when I would pump, I would still have a lot left over. Um, so that was a little tricky, like I was able to keep up and like she would have, you know nurse, and then she would have a bottle from like what I had pumped, like before. Um, and I was just like I don't understand, cause, like her latch was super good in the hospital, like I talked with some consultants and I was like I don't know what's happening, like is it my supply is not enough, but like I feel like it is because she doesn't drink that much after. So come to find out like she has a lip tie. But by the time that I really figured out what was happening, we had made the decision to do like half nursing, half formula. But then I was like, oh, but I was still like producing a lot, like I feel like I was producing enough milk where she was able to latch like it would have been enough because I was still pumping. So like she really didn't have formula a lot, it was just like if I didn't pump quite enough, like the day before or whatever you know, because something happened or I didn't drink enough, or whatever.
Rachel: 1:12:15
But her pediatrician didn't want to deal with the lip tie, which was a little disappointing, and by that time she was probably like three months old and at that time we're like, is it really? Is it really worth it? Like how worth it is it to me? Like she was growing really well and like we, we were fine with formula because, like my son had to have a special formula anyway. So like I didn't have any adverse thoughts about it. So I was like I just really wish that, like people would want to do something about it, but like because it was different than like a tongue tie, and I feel like other people were like, oh well, she has other options. It just didn't kind of feel very important to them. And at that point my husband was like I don't really want to have her go through that, you know, which I understand. So I was like that's fine. So that was a little hard, because I just kind of felt like it was hard in the sense that I felt like maybe I should have pushed a little bit more. But it was also like relieving to know that like, because I feel like when you nurse you put a lot of pressure on yourself Like oh my gosh, like I'm such a failure. But to know that like it wasn't necessarily my fault, which is fine, it's not anyone's fault, you know. But it's those postpartum like feels of like no, this is, this is the end or be all, you know, whatever.
Rachel: 1:13:36
But I made it to six months nursing with her, and I'd only been able to make it just barely three with my son before I had to stop. And then at six months she ended up getting a little cold and like the lip tie was really making it very difficult for her to latch, and you know it's also hard for them when they're sick anyway to nurse. So she had a couple of days where she wasn't able to actually like nurse. She was just getting milk from bottles and so when she was finally able to nurse she was like no, I don't want that anymore, like I just want the bottle, thank you.
Rachel: 1:14:12
And I was like oh, okay, like, and I did pump for about two a little bit after and then I just was like you know, I feel like I'm okay if we transition, cause it was really starting to get to me and I could feel that if I kind of kept going in that way, I probably would kind of go back into like some postpartum depression and at that point I hadn't had anything like that.
Rachel: 1:14:35
Like it was great Even with the transition of two kids, like which is not for the faint of heart, like which is not for the faint of heart, like it is hard at the beginning.
Rachel: 1:14:42
But so I was like you know, I think for my mental health and for you know, it was upsetting my daughter because she didn't want it and she would just get very angry when I tried to introduce it again. I was like I'm okay with just ending it here, and after that I feel like it kind of opened it up a little bit more for our bond, because then she really started actually really bonding with my husband a little bit more than she had been, um, which was great for him and cause he was kind of feeling like she didn't like him at all and I was like no, like you're just not her food store, you know, she's a baby, like she just wants the food, you know, um. So yeah, it was, it was great and um, she'd been a good sleeper, so the opposite of my son, so like she was still sleeping super well and napping super well. So yeah, it was just, it was an opposite experience. It was really good at the same time.
Angela: 1:15:44
So, oh, that's awesome, yeah. So as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what's the biggest thing that you'd want to share?
Rachel: 1:16:02
parents. What's the biggest thing that you'd want to share? Oh, my goodness, the hardest question for last. I think there's so many things. I think, if you're expecting just I know that I did talk about like how I did have some anxiety and apprehension, but like, just really trust your body and like your intuition, because that was the biggest thing that I really loved about Mayo was that they were so like they didn't really do many checks on me.
Rachel: 1:16:30
They were like you, you'll know when it's wrong. Like they really helped me trust my body again and like that I knew what it was doing and that my intuition was good, you know, because I kind of felt like that was damaged a little bit from my experience with my son. So I would just definitely say, like just relax and like trust your body, like so many other people have done it before, like your body can do it. And trust, you know, in your intuition. Like, if you you're not a bother bother. Like even if you feel like you're going to bother someone because you're asking all these questions, or like doing all this research, like it's okay, like just do it. Because I haven't even mentioned how many phone calls I made to the OB office or, like I said, I talked to Dr Morey all the time.
Rachel: 1:17:15
So you know, you'd sometimes just have to do that and I would say for new parents, I think it's more in like the relationship with your partner is that don't ever believe what you say to each other in the middle of the night when you're tired, because it is not true 90% of the time.
Rachel: 1:17:41
I would even say 95% of the time, because it's just, especially if you're a first time parent. You know you don't know what you're doing and you're probably going to get frustrated and you're tired and like that's normal. But just be really good at having communication with your partner and you know telling them like you know I had to tell my husband like I need you to feed her, like in the middle of the night, because I can't nurse and pump and sleep at the same time. You know. So like have those conversations of like what you need and figure out how to make it work, because I feel like that is, I feel like if the parents, if you as the parents, aren't getting what you need, then it's hard to take care of your baby. So that's what I would say.
Angela: 1:18:36
Yeah, that is really important. I totally agree with that. Yeah, well, thank you so much, rachel, for taking the time to chat with me today and to share your story, of course, Thank you, this was wonderful.
Rachel: 1:18:52
Thanks so much for having me on. I really appreciate it.
Angela: 1:18:56
Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth. If you're pregnant, whether you're a first time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course. I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey. So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.