133. MyMaine Birth: Pushing Against the Tide, Kia’s Mercy Hospital Birth Story

Kia: 0:00

So my midwife at that point was like, okay, let me check you. Like, you know, you gotta sit back. And sitting back felt awful. But I sat back and I was only an eight. So she at that point suggested that when I feel an urge to push, you can push slightly with it to see if that will help you dilate. And so I did that. And looking back, I really wish I hadn't. Because I started doing that and felt like, okay, like, you know, there's something productive happening with this. And I started getting really nauseous too. I started vomiting. So then they're like, oh, good, like transition. Yay, it's happening. And so they're trying to like hype me up. But it was um, it was so intense, and obviously my body wasn't quite ready. So after about an hour in the tub, got out of the tub, started doing different um maneuvers back on the birth stool, over the bed. They gave me about three more hours of just trying to work through it and work with my body. And they checked me again around um, this was probably like 5 p.m., 5 30, I think. And I was still at an eight. So I hadn't progressed at all. And at that point, you start getting like the feeling of defeat, like uh-oh. Like what's happening now? Because I'm working so hard and nothing's happening.

Angela: 1:34

Um at that time about a cervical lip or any sort of swelling?

Kia: 1:39

Not at that time, no. Um, she she did mention, actually, she did mention there was a tiny, tiny little curl, cervical lip curl. She was like, it's it shouldn't be an issue though. Like your bot, you know, she she didn't seem concerned about that. So yes, yeah, that was mentioned. Um, but it wasn't anything that they interfered with or anything. Um, they just felt, okay, you just need a little more time. But then around that point, they started because they had just been doing the Doppler, but they wanted me to get on the bed to monitor baby for about 30 minutes through a few contractions just to see how she was doing. And during that time, we would see that every time I had a contraction and I was, you know, trying to work with it. Um, I wasn't, you know, obviously actively pushing, but I was kind of trying to work with my body and do a little bit of bearing down. Um, she was deselling every time I did that. So at that point, the midwife said, actually don't do that. Like, try not to push, try not to um uh overexert yourself through these, like just breathe through them. But I had been doing this for so long now that I it was such a it was so hard to get out of that mindset. And so I was now working really against my body at that point, and it felt 10 times worse, so much worse for me.

Angela: 3:07

Um, so that was also then you're getting into your thinking brain, you're thinking about all of these things, and that brings you out of these deeper brainwave states that you need to be in to allow it to first of all not be super painful and to like, and then second, allow things to progress, like right?

Kia: 3:23

Yes, yes, exactly. When I had to start thinking about what I was doing, it was yeah, it was bringing in so much of that intense pain and confusion and just like, do I even know what I'm doing? Like, does my body know what it's doing? And which I hadn't had before. And so that got really intense. It was an hour of me trying to work now against my body at the advice of my doctor to try to help my baby, who apparently was, you know, having trouble with it. So it was a whole thing. So um, an hour goes by, and my doula at that time, you know, just kind of said, Kia, you're you're working so hard, you've been working so hard. Have you thought about an epidural? Is that anything you would ever consider just to help you out? Because you're so tired. I'm like, Yes, I'm so tired. So at that point, I had nothing left to give. Um, and it was it was sad in the moment for me. I because again, my thinking brain was turned on completely during all of this. So, like, maybe just having someone say, No, you've got this, you can do it. And like helped, right? Like, it might, it totally might have helped. And like, it's and my poor husband was like, Are you sure? I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker: 4:45

I don't know what's sure anymore.

Angela: 4:48

I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator, and your host here on the My Main Birth podcast. This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome back. You're listening to episode 133 of My Main Birth. It's been a little bit since the last episode. I've spent the last month taking a little break from being on call. I've been doing so much hiking, and October is also when I offered the most session days for my amazing podcast guests. And this year did not disappoint. I had so much fun meeting everyone and capturing your family portraits. I absolutely love getting out and meeting so many of you that have shared your stories on the podcast. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I offer a gift certificate for a family adventure photo session to everyone who shares their story on the podcast. It covers the session fee completely and includes five of your favorite digital images from the session. You can upgrade to the full gallery if you'd like to, but also there's absolutely no pressure to do so. You can just pick your five favorite images after this session, and that's that. I offer these in the spring, summer, and fall at iconic locations across Maine, and they are so much fun. But now, as I shift back into being on call and spending more time in my office again, I'm putting together some really incredible episodes to close out season three of the podcast over the next month or so. On this podcast, the seasons coincide with each year. I started in 2023 with season one, and I cannot believe I'm already thinking about season four coming in 2026. So if you'd like to join the community of main mom sharing birth stories on the podcast, you can fill out the form over on my website, mymainbirth.com. Or you can always send me a message over on Instagram at my mainbirth. Alright, today's birth story guest is Kia, and she is here to share all about her birth at Mercy Hospital in Portland. Hi, Kia. Welcome to MyMainBirth. Oh my gosh, I'm excited to be here. Thank you. Awesome. Well, to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family?

Kia: 7:45

Yeah, so I'm Kia, and my husband Brad and I live in South Portland with our eight-month-old. She's almost nine months. Um, and we just have a really nice life with our little dog and our little family, and and that's us, and we love it.

Angela: 8:04

Amazing. Now, jumping into your birth stories, would you start by sharing like how you found out you were pregnant and what your thoughts were in choosing your care?

Kia: 8:15

Yeah, so when I found out I was pregnant, we were not trying, not preventing. Um, we just kind of decided the timing felt right for us to let it be fate if we got pregnant. And very shortly after making that decision, we found out we were pregnant. We were actually going to go to a dinner with some family and knew that um, you know, I would typically enjoy a glass of wine if we were gonna be with them. But I just had this weird feeling that I should test. And I took the test and within like 30 seconds it lit up like a Christmas tree. So it was it was pregnant. Um, so that was really exciting for us. But then we went to dinner and like held this big secret the whole time and it was just really difficult. Um, but we decided not to tell right away. Um, I had always kind of had this weird feeling that it was going to be hard for us to be to get pregnant. I don't, I had had like ovarian cysts in the past and some family history. So for some reason, I just I couldn't believe it at first, but it was definitely positive. And um, yeah, we were just able to hold on to that little secret for a bit.

Angela: 9:27

Oh my gosh, what a special secret. It was, it was so now what were your like opinions on birth leading up to your pregnancy?

Kia: 9:38

Yeah, honestly, I really felt like I wanted as holistic of a care throughout pregnancy as I could. Um, I've never really been one that goes too deep into like medicine. Like if I'm sick, I don't jump to go take Tylenol, like that kind of thing. So I really wanted a combo care of holistic care as well as I was nervous just having that preconceived kind of feeling about not sure if the pregnancy would go well for whatever reason. It was just a weird feeling I had. So I um we decided to go with Mercy Midwives. It felt like a good combination between hospital care as well as a little bit more of a hands-off approach. So we we started right up with them and I think I called them like the week after I found out and and established care.

Angela: 10:29

Awesome. So how was that looking like when you first started the appointments with them?

Kia: 10:35

Yeah, yeah, it was it was going really well. I loved them. Um, they were all I started like with one appointment, and then they said, you know, we want you to meet all the midwives. So we kind of scheduled like all the different midwives throughout my pregnancy, which was awesome. Um, I went in for that first visit, and they thought I was around eight weeks, but we couldn't quite get a heartbeat right away. So there was a little bit of that concern. So they had me come back um, I think like a week later and do a follow-up ultrasound. And then we got the little heartbeat. So that was like big relief. Um, but yeah, going into like discussions around birth with them and everything, it started right from the jump, kind of like, what do you envision? And I really appreciated that, just them being so um, you know, wanting to hear my story and and what I really wanted out of this birth. Um, so that was great. And yeah, maintained care with them throughout the whole pregnancy. Um, there were a few times throughout the pregnancy where I just felt like lower movements and things. So I would call and immediately they would say, you know, just come in, better safe than sorry. So I'd do some fetal monitoring, which was really good because in that moment you feel so like, you know, you you have this sense that something could be wrong. So you get nervous about it, but then you feel so silly calling because it's like, should I really be nervous about this? I don't know. And um, they just really made me feel like reassured that it's always best to, you know, trust your gut and do what you feel is best in that moment. So um, yeah, I really appreciated their care, especially in the first like 20 or so weeks where you're just so nervous and it's all so new.

Angela: 12:19

Yeah, definitely. So when you were talking to them and they were asking you like what your preferences were, what were they? Like, what were your goals for your birth?

Kia: 12:30

Yeah, so my goal, I had taken a birth class through um birth roots. So this was a little bit later in the pregnancy, but we um took the birth class. But throughout the pregnancy, I was also listening to podcasts. So I listened to your podcast and some other birth podcasts just to kind of get an idea of like what do I really want? Because you kind of asked this earlier, but growing up, I really didn't know as a young adult if I wanted children or not. So I hadn't really, you know, done too much research myself going up to this point, and then all of a sudden we're pregnant, and I'm like, okay, I I really want to like take time to to figure this out for myself and know what's going to make me feel a little bit in control. Although, of course, birth, you know, you have to be prepared for anything. Um, or you you can't really have control over it. Um, but yeah, just like having a little bit of a feeling of knowing what to expect or what could happen was really important to me. So um my preferences with Mercy was or Northern Light was really like I would love to be able to go in when I wanted, um, take my time coming in once I'm there. I really didn't want to do an epidural if I could help it. Um, but I'll get into that story when we get there. But yeah, my I was hoping for low intervention. Um I had some um knowledge about like nitrous oxide and things like that. So I was open to that if I needed it. But I I really kind of gave them a printout of a birth plan that like had it was like a um template from online. So it just said, you know, yes or no to certain things. And I kind of filled that out and um I handed it to them and they put it in my file, which was also really great to be able to just send that away so that we didn't forget about it when we got there. It was already in the file. Um, so yeah, my hope was a really low intervention birth. I also had a doula, um, so she was gonna be there with me. So I felt like I had a really good support system between the midwives, the doula, and my husband. Um, and so that was that was my goal going into it was just be open to anything, but really as as much as I could let my body do it, I was gonna try to let my body do it.

Angela: 14:48

Yeah. So how were you feeling throughout your pregnancy? Like all appointments aside, like how were you like physically, emotionally? I felt so good.

Kia: 14:58

Like I I really loved being pregnant. Um, we didn't know what we were having, uh boy or a girl. So that was really exciting to just always kind of get these dreams and get these feelings around what they could be. Um, so that was really cool. I felt great. I had those couple of moments of low fetal movement, so I did go and get checked out. Um, but at 30 weeks, I actually ended up going to Spain with my family. We went overseas for a wedding. It was wonderful. Um, that's right around the time when I started getting some swelling. So I had kind of the normal foot swelling and had to manage that, kick my feet up when I could. Um, I also started getting some cramping, like in my legs. I ended up taking magnesium for that, and that helped a lot. Um, it also helped with my migraines. I had a few migraines, and they say after I think it's 20 weeks, they they really don't want you to be taking any accedrin, which is how I would typically manage at home. So um the the magnesium really seemed to help with that, which was awesome. Didn't get them as often. Um, and then besides that, the only other kind of complication in pregnancy was she was um breach presentation on and off. So constantly flipping around. Um towards the end of my pregnancy at 35 weeks, she was breach. So I went to um get some acupuncture done, and I was also seeing my chiropractor twice a week, and we were doing like the Moxa stick and a bunch of you know, the miles circuit, like trying to turn her. And uh finally at 37 weeks, she did flip right before I was trying to make that decision um of how to proceed with that, because that was really gonna just blow up my whole thoughts and feelings around the birth, obviously. If we were gonna have to make any decisions around trying to turn her, or obviously C-section would be the other option in a hospital setting. So that was that was a stressful time. Uh, but she did flip, and that was beautiful. I was so thankful.

Angela: 17:07

Oh my goodness, yeah, that's that's difficult. So 35 weeks she was breached, 37 weeks she had flipped. How was the time period in between there with like your appointments, like the conversations that were happening and yeah, like going for a little bit of a roller coaster around that time, too?

Kia: 17:26

Yeah, I was doing weekly appointments, so 35 weeks uh she was breached, and then we scheduled our 36-week check. And in that one week period, I was going to the chiropractor um twice a week and I got acupuncture twice that week. We went at 36 weeks, she was still breach. So at that point, we started discussing, like, okay, we'll give it one more week, and then we have to decide do you want to do um the oh my goodness, I'm blinking on the name the E the ECB where they turn the baby, yeah.

Angela: 18:00

Or like they're gonna make you decide for a cesarean at 37 weeks. They weren't gonna give you any more time, like they're like that.

Kia: 18:06

They were gonna do it at 38 weeks. So they were going to, yeah, they would schedule the C section at 38 weeks, but I'd make that decision at 37 if she hadn't flipped. And so that was, yeah, obviously extremely stressful. That last week, I was like, Okay, come on, baby, like we got this. And I just I really like felt like if I just almost talked to her like every day, I was like, come on, like we can do this, and you know, doing a lot of inversions, um, still saw the chiropractor and the acupuncturist did the Moxa stick with my husband, and we just like did it as a team and you know, just had a lot of faith, just really put faith into the fact that she was gonna do it. And thank goodness, um, we got in there. And I was trying to just go into it thinking she is going to be flipped, like, not even giving any thought that she won't be, because I just had it in my mind that I was not gonna have a C-section. So, so we went in and did the ultrasound, and thank goodness the second she put it on my belly, we saw the head and we're like, Okay, we're good, she's down. Um, so yeah, that was very, very oh, so good.

Angela: 19:18

Such a good the power of positive thinking.

Kia: 19:23

Right, yeah. Yeah, and a lot of that I have to credit my husband for that because he was like, you know, he was kind of like the voice behind me saying, like, we've got this, like we're good. And I'm like, okay, you're right. Yes, we've got this. So yeah, it really, really made a difference to be positive about it because otherwise I'm sure mentally I would have been a wreck without him, honestly.

Angela: 19:46

It's so hard because you're really in between a rock and a hard place, you know. Say if she hadn't flipped, you know, then it's like you're like ultimatum, or you know, like you, or you know, like had you ever considered if she hadn't flipped, like not going with their plan to choose either of those and just saying maybe you let's wait longer, you know, trying to, but it's hard when like they're like, no, you have to do this, and you know, and and hearing the language that you know is used in those conversations, right? Like, how did that definitely say how do you feel about that?

Kia: 20:16

Yeah, I really appreciated um the midwife during that time because she kind of she made the language in a way that she was really rooting for us. Like she wasn't like very negative about it either, which I think again like really helped me. Um, because yeah, she was like, you know, you you don't have to make a decision right now, like really stressing that like don't don't go googling, like don't go, you know, down a rabbit hole on it. Um, so that really helped. I never considered not doing one of the two options because in that time, I think being a first-time mom, I just felt like this was these were the people that I felt comfortable delivering my baby because I'd been with them up to 36 weeks or 37 weeks that point. Um, so I was like, okay, I I want to be with them. And now these are gonna be my two choices if it doesn't work out for us. But um, but yeah, the midwife Jen, she was fantastic. She just made me feel like really at ease. She knew I how stressed out I was about it, and she just really was that like calming place that was like, it's gonna all work out no matter what happens, you know. So that was really, really good. Thank goodness for her.

Angela: 21:29

Yeah, that really makes all the difference in those those moments and you're making hard decisions.

Kia: 21:34

And yeah, she didn't make it so scary because I know like she could have. I'm sure a lot of providers would have really pressured me a lot more to just make the C-section decision, you know. But she really tried to like give me as much time as we could per her policy, and yeah, it worked out.

Angela: 21:51

Yeah, it's hard. That that hospital policy is always like looming in the back shadows. Yes, absolutely. Oh my goodness. So, okay, so now 37 weeks, she is head down. How do things unfold after that?

Kia: 22:06

Yeah, so she was head down and we continued with our weekly checks. Um, I made it to 40 weeks. I had it in my brain that I wanted to make it to 40 weeks, which I'm sure not a lot of women think that way, but I was like, I'm gonna make it to 40 weeks because I had an event. It was like a um a fundraising event I really wanted to go to, and I would have been 40 and three for the event. So I was like, you know, I I really want you to stay in there for this event. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna do it. And we went and it was a great night. And then as soon as the night ended, I was like, you know, okay, anytime now, you can come on. And uh she didn't want to come out. So 40 and three passed, and then I got to 40 and five, which was a Friday, and I had another check to make sure she was, you know, not too squished in there. Um, and at that ultrasound, they said, you know, we don't want to make it to um, we don't want to make it to 42 weeks because hospital policy, you're not, you're not gonna be able to go past 42 weeks. So do you want to schedule an induction? You're 45. Um, and that's when I was like, ah no, another hard decision. Um, so I didn't write away. I said, you know, give me the weekend, let's think about it, let her, you know, have some more time. Um, next week came at 41 weeks. I had to have another appointment. And so at 41 weeks, conversation came up again. Um, let's, you know, just put one on the books because you're gonna, you know, either way, whether she comes or not, we gotta put one on the books because you can't go past 42. So we scheduled induction for 41 and 5, which was a Monday. Um, and during that time between that 41 appointment and then 41 and 5, I did the mile circuit. I did a ton of walking, more positive thinking, uh, really trying to, you know, tell baby we we're ready, like, let's go, come on. Um, and just really soaked it up. I stopped working. I had been working pretty much up until this point. Um, and I stopped working and just tried to relax. And my husband and I just took the time to really connect with each other and like try to enjoy it as best as we could, um, even though in the back of our minds we were obviously like very, you know, not wanting that induction if we could help it. Um, so it was Sunday, the day before my induction, and I woke up with um just kind of some nausea and didn't really think much of it. But then over the course of the day, I was just feeling a little bit crampy here and there. And turns out labor was starting. So I went into spontaneous labor like 24 hours before my induction. So another blessing for that.

Angela: 25:18

Wow, oh my goodness.

Kia: 25:20

So how long did you stay at home then once things kind of started and you started to feel yeah, so uh it started around 6 p.m., which was like the worst time to start labor because it's like you can't, you're so excited then. I uh I'm like gone on vacation, like yeah, I'm like no, six, so six p.m. it started and it was um it was you know fine, but I could tell it was rhythmical, like there were true contractions happening every 20 minutes or so. And so we just started thinking about them, timing them. We watched a movie, um, and then we went into the bedroom just to try to, you know, get a little bit of rest. And of course I couldn't sleep, even though I desperately wanted to, because I knew I would need to be so, you know, so rested for this journey, but gosh, I could not settle. Um they just kept increasing. So by like midnight, um, no, it was probably around like 11 p.m., they were about five minutes apart and they were becoming a little more intense and uncomfortable to like lay on my side with. So I just got up and decided to sit on my ball for a little bit and again kind of feel them out and just try to be at peace with it all and not stress out about it. Um, but by one o'clock in the morning, they were about two minutes apart. And so it was like, what is happening? Like this shouldn't be happening so fast. What, you know, but I was using my little timer and I'm like, this is really, really crazy. But I was able to kind of talk through them. So I called the doula and was like, you know, I'm timing them, they're very close together, but I'm not, I'm just confused. Like, what is happening? Um, so she advised me that, you know, whatever you're comfortable with, if you'd rather just be in the hospital, go to the hospital. If you want to stay home, stay home. And about 2:30 that morning, we did decide to go to the hospital because again, I had never been through this before. And I'm just like, I I thought that when they're this close, like we should be going, but um, and it's not that they weren't intense, but they weren't like I was walking and stuff, so we ended up going to the hospital, which in hindsight now I know I I wouldn't have, even with the um timeliness of the contraction. I now know what that really intense contraction feels like. So now I know for next time. Um like I knew it would. So I got there at 2:30, and shockingly enough, I was only one centimeter dilated. So that was, of course, like now. I'm like, yep, that makes a lot of sense. Um, but I was one centimeter dilated, and so I consented to a membrane sweep at that time. Um, and just rested. Now that I knew where I was at, I was able to rest. Um, so we rested and I labored naturally all day pretty much in the hospital until about 1 p.m. They did admit you when you went in. Uh they did admit me. Yeah. No, it hadn't yet. Um, so I had bloody show that morning, like around midnight. I had had bloody show. Um and then the contractions, and that's pretty much it. And then yeah, they they did admit me. Um I also allowed them to put an IV. Um, I did consent to an HEP block. Again, just like kind of the if I need it, it's there. It's fine. It's not bothering me. So we did that in my hand, which was fine. And yeah, rested, labored naturally until about one. Um, things were really getting spicy at that point. And I I had been like on the bed, on the ball, on the birth stool, like all around the room. And then finally, my doula was there at that time. So she suggested, you know, go into the shower and maybe see how that feels. So I went in with my husband into the shower and went from the shower to the toilet, back to the shower. Like, I just couldn't, I had to keep moving really. When I one of the times when I was on the toilet is when my water broke. So water broke on the toilet. Um, I came out of the shower probably about 45 minutes of back and forth and decided to get in the tub to see how that felt. And that felt really great. Um, but I started getting the um fetal ejection reflex in the tub. So it it was such a shift from the contraction, and then all of a sudden it was like I like there's no stopping this. Like, what is happening? You know, that whole feeling. So my midwife at that point was like, okay, let me check you. Like, you know, you gotta sit back. And sitting back felt awful. But I sat back and I was only an eight. So she at that point suggested that when I feel an urge to push, you can push slightly with it to see if that will help you dilate. And so I did that. And looking back, I really wish I hadn't. Because um, I started doing that and felt like, okay, like, you know, there's something productive happening with this. And I started getting really nauseous too. I started vomiting. So then they're like, oh, good, like transition, yay, it's happening. And so they're trying to like hype me up, but it was um, it was so intense, and obviously my body wasn't quite ready. So after about an hour in the tub, got out of the tub, started doing different um maneuvers back on the birth stool, over the bed. They gave me about three more hours of just trying to work through it and work with my body. And they checked me again around um, this was probably like 5 p.m., 5 30, I think. Um, and I was still at an eight. So I hadn't progressed at all. And at that point, you start getting like the feeling of defeat, like, uh-oh. Like, what's happening now? Because I'm working so hard and nothing's happening.

Angela: 31:49

Um, about a cervical lip or any sort of swelling?

Kia: 31:55

Not at that time, no. Um, she she did mention, actually, she did mention there was a tiny, tiny little curl, cervical lip curl. She was like, it's it shouldn't be an issue though. Like your bot, you know, she she didn't seem concerned about that. So yes, yeah, that was mentioned. Um, but it wasn't anything that they interfered with or anything. Um, they just felt, okay, you just need a little more time. But then around that point, they started because they had just been doing the Doppler, but they wanted me to get on the bed to monitor baby for about 30 minutes through a few contractions just to see how she was doing. And during that time, we would see that every time I had a contraction and I was, you know, trying to work with it. Um, I wasn't, you know, obviously actively pushing, but I was kind of trying to work with my body and do a little bit of bearing down. Um, she was deselling every time I did that. So at that point, the midwife said, actually don't do that. Like, try not to push, try not to um uh overexert yourself through these, like just breathe through them. But I had been doing this for so long now that I it was such a it was so hard to get out of that mindset. And so I was now working really against my body at that point, and it felt 10 times worse, so much worse for me.

Angela: 33:23

Um, so that was also then you're getting into your thinking brain, you're thinking about all of these things, and that brings you out of these deeper brainwave states that you need to be in to allow it to first of all not be super painful and to like, and then second, allow things to progress, like right?

Kia: 33:39

Yes, yes, exactly. When I had to start thinking about what I was doing, it was yeah, it was bringing in so much of that intense pain and confusion and just like, do I even know what I'm doing? Like, does my body know what it's doing? And which I hadn't had before. And so that got really intense. It was an hour of me trying to work now against my body at the advice of my doctor to try to help my baby, who apparently was, you know, having trouble with it. So it was a whole thing. So um, an hour goes by, and my doula at that time, you know, just kind of said, Kia, you're you're working so hard, you've been working so hard. Have you thought about an epidural? Do you is that anything you would ever consider just to help you out? Because you're so tired. And I'm like, Yes, I'm so tired. So at that point, I had nothing left to give. Um, and it was it was sad in the moment for me. I because again, my thinking brain was turned on completely during all of this. So, like, maybe just having someone say, No, you've got this, you can do it. And like helped, right? Like, it might, it totally might have helped. And like it's and my poor husband was like, Are you sure? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what sure anymore.

Angela: 35:04

Such a vulnerable state at that point. It's so hard to not just do, okay, whatever you say, please. Like, let's get this done, right?

Kia: 35:11

Like, exactly, exactly. And yeah, so it it was, you know, it was a decision I didn't want to have to make, but at the same time, I just wanted to like surrender and just be able to just rest, rest my brain and my body. So I I got a epidural around seven, uh 7 p.m. Yeah. So it was like an hour after I stopped working with my body. Um, and they ended up giving me actually a spinal first and then an epidural to try to because I just couldn't stop moving. And um that it did, it was a really good epidural. I will say I was able to move my feet. I still felt the contractions, like very thankful for the person that did the epidural because it really, I was I was picturing that I wouldn't be able to feel anything. Um, and I really didn't want that, obviously. So that was really great to have the feeling to be able to actually move my legs. I was like, wow, okay. Oh, thank goodness. Um, so that was around seven. And at that point, they wanted to try to get things moving. And again, I was in that really vulnerable state of just like, I feel like I need to surrender and I don't want to, but I have nothing like been up for so long now, over 24 hours, and I'm just exhausted. So, because I had the hip lock in, they started Pitocin to try to move things along. However, they gave it to me, and every time I had a contraction, baby D celled again.

Angela: 36:48

Surprise, surprise. Like, that's shocking. Like your baby's already having D cells. Let's say Yep, yup, literally.

Kia: 36:57

So, like, and my husband's observing all this, and he's starting to connect. Like, wait a minute, like the contractions were really intense before. Now she can't move. Yeah, you know, it's like, okay, um, this is tough. So thank goodness he was there to like witness because we went over this yesterday to try to like remember everything, and it's helpful because during that time, again, I'm just like so I'm glazed over and so exhausted. So they tried for about uh, I believe it was like so seven, it was probably until about 10:30 or 11 trying Pitocin, not trying Potosin, like going back and forth between Pitocin, no Pitocin, Pitocin, no Pitocin, and she kept not tolerating it. Um by nine o'clock, I was finally around a nine. And then by midnight, I was at a 10. So my body did progress. I just kept switching sides, doing peanut ball, um, trying to keep things, my body moving a little bit. Um so by midnight I was at a 10. At that point, I didn't have any Pitocin going. They had completely stopped it at that point. Um, and so yay, we can start actively pushing. So I get on, obviously, I'm on my back, have the squat bar going on, um, trying that, pulling against the sheet. Um, we try putting, you know, my legs completely up and do pushing that way. We try pushing on my side. She's just not moving, coming down. So around two hours of pushing later, my midwife keeps checking me and she's just stuck. There's just a little spot where she's stuck, um, might have been that lip, um, and can't quite get her down. And obviously, I'm still delusional. So I'm just like, please help me. Like, what do we do? So she consulted the OB on call, and she was wonderful. I I loved her energy. She kind of brought me back to life a little bit. She was like, We're gonna, we're gonna do this. She advised to use a vacuum. So she, you know, asked me if I knew anything about it, and I I really I remembered from birth class us mentioning it, but that was something that like never came up in the podcasts I was listening to. Like, I never really knew much about it, the pros and the cons and everything. So I had her explain to me everything that she could and everything that I could retain, and it was basically vacuum and let's get her out, or c-section, and we're gonna prep the room right now. So another hard decision. Um, but I had to choose vacuum. There was no other option. I I, you know, I didn't want to do a c-section, and at that point, I'm just looking at my husband and my doula, just like scared because it's like I I've done all this work. There's no way I can do a c-section.

Angela: 40:04

Um, was your doula helping you to explain like what the vacuum was like during this time? Do you have like some time to make that decision a little bit, or was it feel feeling rushed?

Kia: 40:14

Yeah, it it didn't feel rushed, thankfully. Um, she the Obi had come in, she explained to me everything. She did give me time. She said, let me go get everything prepped, but I'm gonna leave and come back and like you talk and let me know what you're thinking. So yeah, we probably had about 20 minutes to talk with my doula and and my husband and my midwife who was there, and just kind of walk through it. And so she came back, the OB came back about 20 minutes later, and with her followed some people from the OR. And I think there was a miscommunication because they were like, Okay, like, are we going in? And she was like, No, no, like we're gonna try the OB said, No, no, we're gonna try the vacuum first. And the male doctor um who had come in said, like, okay, so I'll hold the OR. And she's like, Yep, like hold it. And in that moment, I'm just like, oh my God, don't wheel me away to the OR. You know, like it was like, wow, this is like right, like it's this or bust, you know. So that was crazy. Um, but she had the vacuum with her and she said, you know, are you good to make this decision? Do you do you want to do the vacuum? And I said, Yes, I do not want to see section. And she's like, Okay, we're gonna get the baby out then. It's we're gonna be good. I I have faith, you know. She she did put confidence into it that she was gonna be able to do it. And my midwife at the same time was saying, like, you're lucky that she's on call. Like, if I had to pick anyone to do this, it would be her, you know. So everyone was really trying to like hype me up that this was gonna work. So that was good. So she placed the vacuum and she was explaining everything as she was doing it, and told me on the next contraction, you're gonna push, and I'm also going to assist you with the vacuum to get the baby out. And so next contraction came, I pushed. Uh, baby moved about two centimeters down, and then the vacuum popped off. And so she was like, Oh, it popped off. Like, no biggie, I'm just gonna go get another vacuum. But she did move, she moved like two centimeters, so it's working, it's working. And so my next contraction came while she was trying to prep the second vacuum. And so my nurse helped me coach me through the push during that. She's like, Let's just keep working, like, come on, push. And I ended up pushing her out on my own at that time.

Angela: 42:39

Were they having you do kind of like that purple pushing where you like hold your breath and like it was like push, push, push? Okay.

Kia: 42:45

Yeah, yep, exactly. Yep, coached purple pushing. Um, and yeah, it thank goodness, like that little bit, that two centimeter down that that vacuum did was enough of the loosening up that we needed. And I was able to push the rest of her out really easily. And I felt it throughout that, which I really wanted to experience that. And of course, it wasn't the full feeling because I had the epidural, but I did get to have that moment of like, I can feel her coming, and like that was amazing. Um, thank goodness. And so yeah, she came out. We still didn't know she was a she. So they laid her on my chest and we were just like soaking it up. And I have pictures of me just like laying back, like not even looking at her, you know, just breathing because I was like so, so um, so tired. But then the nurse was like, What's your baby? So we lifted her up, and and my husband announced that it was a she, it was a girl. And um yeah, it was just an amazing feeling to have her out. And while she was on my chest, um, you know, they let me do skin to skin. She was she was doing really well. So she was on my chest for a while while they um stitched me up. I did have a first degree tear, but thankfully, no more than that, which I kind of again thinking brain on, I was like, oh gosh, I'm gonna be ruined, you know, like this is gonna be hard because I was just working so hard, pushing so hard. But um, thankfully, just a first degree internal tear. Um, so they they stitched me up and she was beautiful and good, and it was just it was like the pot of gold at the end of the very long dark tunnel. Um, it was beautiful.

Angela: 44:29

Yes. Oh my gosh, that's amazing that you did it on your own after like this before she got that second vacuum. Like, thank goodness, right?

Kia: 44:38

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It was like such a it felt so empowering. And she was, you know, telling me, like, wow, you you did that. You know, everyone was saying that. Like, you did that, you did that. And it was like, after all of that, to be told that like I did something, it was like, wow, yeah, okay, good, finally, I could like be an active participant in this, you know. Um, so yeah, that was really, really amazing. And she did have a small hematoma on her head that completely resolved um within like gosh, 48 hours probably it was it was gone. So also very grateful for that because um I know, you know, sometimes vacuums can have some scary birth injuries for babies. So we were very lucky with that as well.

Angela: 45:24

Yeah, I'd say that's a pretty positive vacuum story. If we had, you know, despite all of the all of the odds and all of these roadblocks that you kind of kept coming up, we're having to make these decisions, like with this policy living in the background, like, but yeah, uh happy ending.

Kia: 45:43

Very much so, yes. Oh my gosh, it just yeah, the whole thing was like decision after decision, and then finally we just had a good, yeah, good outcome of it all, which was amazing.

Angela: 45:55

Wow. So how was your immediate postpartum like in the hospital? Those, yeah, those first like couple days.

Kia: 46:02

Yeah, so it was it was great. Um, I I enjoyed being there. The only thing is I just could not sleep. So I don't know what it was. I was so exhausted, and yet I could not sleep. So we were there. Um, so to back up a little bit, I went into labor Sunday at 6. I had her Tuesday at 336. So I was in labor about 33 hours from start to finish, and then had her early morning on Tuesday, and then we were in the hospital till Thursday afternoon. So during all of that time, gosh, I probably only got 10 hours of sleep. Um, it was not a lot at all. And I remember during discharge, um, I was just totally a zombie, like listening but not listening, like my eyes were half shut. I was just, I was a shell of myself. But she was babe, um, my baby was amazing. Like she was fantastic. She still is, she's such a good baby. Um, love her so much. But yeah, she she was great. My husband was such a good support for me. But during that hospital stay, I I didn't necessarily want to run out of there because it was still so new to me, and I wanted to take time to have the help while I had the help. But I was ready to be in my own bed by Thursday for sure. So we um we got home, settled in. That was really, really lovely to just have the space to ourselves. We set up like a meal train so we excuse me, had had um some you know meals ready for us when we got home, which was amazing. Such a great thing that people set up for pregnant people. It's amazing to have that meal waiting for you. Um, so that was it. We were just in our little bubble. It was the end of January, so or now we're talking early February because she was born January 28th. Um, and so it was really cold, and we just stayed in the house and watched the snowfall and didn't really have anyone over. We just really took the time for ourselves to just enjoy the moment. Um, and yeah, did a lot of snuggling and just relaxing and it was really nice. Um, she she latched really well from the start too. So that was also a really big win because I I knew I really wanted to breastfeed and thankfully she made that pretty easy for us. Um, and that was such a blessing to have that bonding time with her. And besides that, yeah, I just I caught up on a lot of sleep well when I got home. And then after that initial, like very early postpartum, around week three, I would say, I ended up getting, or I had had, but I didn't realize a fissure, an anal fissure, and I didn't know about those either. And I will say that is something I could have never prepared myself for. If anyone's ever gone through that, it is horrible, and I feel for you. Um, so that was a really like I was on this high, and then that happened and it just knocked me right down. So that postpartum period was really rough, like from three weeks to like probably 12 weeks, I was dealing with that. Um, and that really, really sunk me down, which was which was so sad because it had been so good. Um, but yeah, I I didn't, I kind of laxed on my magnesium that I had been taking throughout my whole pregnancy. And I wonder if that had something to do with it. Um, as well as, you know, they say to take some stool softeners after birth and stuff. And I was I wasn't as consistent as, you know, maybe I could have been, but who knows what really did it. But um, probably all that pushing, if I'm being honest. But but yeah, it it was wild. So that's that's really if anyone ever goes through that, I am so sorry it is rough.

Angela: 50:15

Oh no, yeah, there can be a lot of side effects from all of that pushing, you know, and and there also on the flip side can be a lot of benefits of like not pushing and just like allowing your baby, you know, and your body to do the things, and and that's sometimes not an option with all this policy looming around.

Kia: 50:35

Oh, exactly. Yeah, yeah. I think, yeah, I think that all of that um kind of stress at the end of the birth definitely was not uh was not helpful for my body.

Angela: 50:48

How did your placenta come out?

Kia: 50:50

Do you remember that part? Yeah, yes, uh, very, very easy. So yes, I do remember that. I remember right after she was um on me, laying on me. Um, I had another small contraction and uh the OB was at, you know, still down there for me. And so she said, you know, uh give me just a tiny little push. And she had the cord um in her hand and it it slid right out, no problem. Um, so that was great. And I was able, they had the placenta out next to me, but she was still um, she was still attached. They hadn't cut the cord quite yet. So that was really nice too. We got we got that time to just be there. And I got a little tour of my placenta, which was awesome. Got to see it, which I was like very fascinated by that. That was just wild. Um, so yeah, had that time and it was it was no problem with that, thank goodness. Because that was another thing that I obviously had had researched and known about and didn't really think about at all after she was born, obviously, but it went smooth.

Angela: 51:54

Amazing, yes. Placentas are very cool. I love the placenta tour at the end where you get to you know see this entire organ that you grew, right, to support your baby for all those months. It's amazing. It is such a cool organ. Now, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting or even new parents after all of your experience, like what's the biggest thing that you'd want to share?

Kia: 52:22

Yeah, I think leaning on your support is so huge. And like being honest with yourself and the people around you about what you need. Um, I think I underestimated that. I knew that that was important, like it takes a village, um, that whole thing. But I think I really underestimated that, and you don't necessarily have to have family around for that to be the case. Um, like I right at like two weeks, I started going to a lactation support group that um Northern Light Mercy has on Four River. So it's every Friday at 10 a.m. Um, lactation consultants there and other new moms. And so I went there weekly and like just going to that, I met so many amazing moms and just like built a little community and was able to ask questions and um, you know, share struggles or wins with those types of things, um, as well as like finding support groups online. I unfortunately my supply dropped when I got my period and I wasn't able to recover it successfully. So I started Amari on some formula, and they have these like weekly lactation support groups that support both breastfeeding and formula feedings and combo feeding. So, you know, I was able to just kind of seek out um support in different ways, and I think like leaning on that, and you really do realize that your experience is um relatable to a lot of other people, and that's really beautiful. So yeah, I would say just really lean on people, people, strangers, new moms, um, as well as your family, obviously, if you have some local, but if you don't, there's there's resources out there, and I hope that you find them if you're looking for them.

Angela: 54:15

Yes, those groups are so important to find like the in-person community and like if you have online community, sometimes you can turn the online community into the in-person communities, you know, too. And then after, you know, when your babies get a little bigger, finding that community, which is usually at the local libraries to still get out, to still like be with those other moms because you're not alone in whatever you're going through and all of these different phases as your little ones grow.

Kia: 54:44

Yeah, and it's so cool to hear about everyone else's experiences and like you know, everyone parents differently, everyone does everything differently, but we're all so successful in what we do, and it's really great to celebrate that. And yeah, I can't wait till my daughter's a little bit older and we can go do those library. I've I've heard that that's a lot of fun going to the library with other moms. So I'm looking forward to that.

Angela: 55:07

Yeah, like definitely venture into the library when you start to, you know, get a little I will.

Kia: 55:12

You know, we're gonna need stuff to do this winter, so honestly, I probably will. Yes.

Angela: 55:18

I love it. Oh my goodness. Well, thank you so much, Kia, for coming on and taking the time to chat with me and share your story today. Yeah, of course. Thanks so much for having me, Angela. Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth. If you're pregnant, whether you're a first-time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access My Labor of Love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course. I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with. And I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey. So, click to the show notes, check out all of those links, and if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my mainbirth over on Instagram.