135. MyMaine Birth: Cathy’s Car Freebirth on the Side of the Road in the Maine Woods

Cathy: 0:00

Once we were in the car, my husband was like, I thought you said that these were like nine minutes apart. He's like, They're like three minutes apart. And I was like, shut up and just drive faster. I had not anticipated like that they could like contractions come so much more quickly after your water breaks. And I wasn't expecting my water to break right before like the second I walked out the door. So they were, they were like coming a lot faster and like very uncomfortable in the car at this point, right? Like I had my seatbelt on that came off in like a second. I was in the passenger seat, like holding on to the little handrail above me. I couldn't like move to the back seat because we had both car seats in the back seat of our car. So it was just like just like squat and standing on the front, like trying to get comfortable. But like I was having pretty intense contractions at that point, you know, screaming, like, I want to go home, take me home. You know, my son's like, I'm gonna just keep driving, even though you're staying that. You know, I was like, okay, you know, it was kind of funny, but also it was just like it was it's not a very can't move, and so like that's just like not the most ideal in place.

Angela: 1:03

It's a really long ride. So, like, how long is the ride from Lubeck to Ellsworth? Like, that's far still.

Cathy: 1:10

Yeah, it takes us about two hours. I mean, luckily it's like you know, 1:30 in the morning. So my husband's like whipping it down there, but yeah, it takes about two hours for us to get there. So I was like, okay, you know, this will be fun. And I think we had gotten to the point where we were supposed to meet Leanne. And so my husband started to like slow down. He's like, I don't see your car in there. And I was like, Kate, drive. I was like so mad. I was like, do not slow this car down. And he's like, Okay, I'll just call her and tell her that we're gonna keep driving. And he didn't like that, went through the car speaker, you know, because it's on Bluetooth. And she was like, No, no, I see you guys. I'll just hop in right behind you. Like, don't worry, just keep going. And then I had like a huge contraction, like while we were, while she was on the phone. And she was like instantly went into like a wonderful supportive mode and was like talking me through it while while in the while in her car, following our car. And then we um turned on the Blackwoods Road. So if people aren't familiar, there's kind of like two ways for us to get to Ellsworth. One's like Blackwoods, or you can stay on Route One and like go through Melbridge. And my husband had before, he had asked, which way do I go? And I was like, Oh, we always take the Blackwoods Road. It's faster. Probably like 10 minutes faster. It's not like that much faster. And again, like at two in the morning, you could probably go equally the other way. But we went that way. And Leanne told me later that she was like, Oh, after you had that huge contraction, and then we turned that direction, she was like, Oh, this is this is risky going that way. There's no cell phone service on that road. But we went that way. And the next contraction I had was like not vocal at all. It was kind of like that, like deep, like, mmm, like I okay. And I was like, in my brain, I was like, Yep, I'm ready to push. I'm gonna start pushing. And then my brain was like, I should tell them that I'm pushing. And I was like, hmm, I'm just gonna work through this. Like, I was just like, okay, I really need to like it was just hard. You're like not really, you don't have the words then to like communicate. And so eventually I was like to my husband, I think I was like, I'm pushing, I'm pushing now. And he was like, okay, I'll just pull over and ask me Ann if you should do that. And I was like, there's no like should I like there's like I am doing, like the baby is coming.

Angela: 3:20

I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced dual, child birth educator, and your host here on the My Maine Birth podcast. This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine. From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a State-to-Bay mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome back. If you're listening to episode 135 of My Main Birth. Today's birth story guest is Kathy, and Kathy shared her first birth story back in episode 121 of the podcast. So go check that out to hear the first part of her story. And today she is back to share her second birth story, which involved her midwife abandoning her on her due date. She decided to fly out of town for the weekend. And Kathy went on to free birth in her car in the middle of the night, somewhere in the woods of down east Maine, where there was no cell phone service. Fortunately, Kathy wasn't completely alone. She was supported by her amazing duela, Leanne, who also was on this podcast. She shared her birth stories back in episode one. So shout out to Leanne for being there for Kathy throughout both of her pregnancies and births. All right, let's get into it. Hi, Kathy. Welcome back to My Main Birth. Hi. So to get started, when we left off before, you had shared a little bit about your second pregnancy. You were 37 weeks into it when you were on in episode 121. But for maybe anyone that hasn't heard that episode, would you start by sharing how you found out you were pregnant for the second time and what your thoughts were in choosing your care? Sure.

Cathy: 5:23

So my husband and I, we live down in Louis Beck. And so we had our son, uh, which was great, when we always wanted to have two kids. But after my first pregnancy, like I hated being pregnant. So I was like, I don't think I ever want to do that again. But it was like our dream to always have two kids. So when we decided that we were gonna like eventually we're like, okay, we can do this, we'll go through the pregnancy again. It'll be fine. Maybe it'll be different, right? Maybe it'll be fine. So we decided we'll go for it. We wanted them to be close in age, they're two years apart, and that's how far we are apart from our siblings. So we're like, that's what we always wanted. So we're like, we'll rip this band aid off, so to speak, and like go for it the second time. Um, and I think it took us three months to get pregnant the second time around, which was pretty quick again. So that was really cool. And for care wise, we decided to go with the same thing that we did the first time. So um we used a midwife in Machias. She has her own little um birthing suite and center right there in Machias. So that's really great. It kind of gave us that like home birth experience, but in a controlled setting, more or less. We really liked it, you know, like we had our son, but like within four hours, we were still out of there, you know, back home. It was just, it was perfect for us. So we wanted to do that again. And she did move locations, but it was the same setup. So we were like, that sounds great. We'll do that again. Um, we also had a doula the first time around, and my husband was like, we don't need a duel again, we we're pros now. And I was like, wait a minute. You know, I so we uh we talked about Leanne. We loved her the first time, she's absolutely fabulous. You know, we went through her birth classes, everything was really great. But um, you know, I was like to my husband, like some of the things I remembered from my first birth was just like Leanne's presence there was just like so calming to me. So um, you know, like everyone else there, it was like it was only the midwife and her uh nurse assistant, and then Leanne and my husband and me, of course, you know, checking on me or checking on the baby, like doing the things that had to be done. And Leanne's voice was just like more like you got this, not like I need this from you, but it was more like you got this, you can do this. It was just absolutely what I remember as one of the most supportive things during my first birth. So I had told my husband, I was like, I I want Leanne again, just in, you know, just for that feeling, which is so wonderful. And then there's always like this like what if scenario, you know. So I was like, I also want Abdula for just like what if something of our plan like doesn't happen the way that we envision it. And he was like, okay, go ahead and text her, like get her on. And so we had her again. So it was kind of the same, same care setup just two years later.

Angela: 7:58

Amazing. Oh my goodness. So was it early on in your pregnancy when you kind of like set up your whole team, you decided to call Leanne in? Yeah, it's like right away. Yeah, right away. Yep, definitely. Awesome. So, how were you feeling throughout this pregnancy? Like emotionally, physically?

Cathy: 8:17

Yeah. And so I think I was on the the first time I was on the podcast, I was about 36 weeks, but I'll I'll kind of recap that. But it was again like the reason I wasn't sure I wanted to be pregnant a second time is because my first pregnancy, I was nauseous like the whole time. And that was my big fear again. And I totally was. I was even more, I didn't even know it was possible to be even more nauseous than I was the first time. And it was like I wasn't eating, I wasn't drinking. And so for about like the first two trimesters, I was getting IV fluids to just like have something going through my body, and it was just it was a really difficult time because we didn't know if that would end. Like it lasted the whole, the whole time, the first pregnancy. And now it was like I feel even worse. And I have a one and a half year old running around that's just like mama, mama, and like I can't give him that attention that I so wanted to, and it was just like, so it was definitely there were times that I felt sad, you know, I like very much was excited to be pregnant, but it was just really challenging. But luckily, it did go away this time. So that was great. The nauseous, you know, that feeling it went away after a while, and then I got into like towards the end of the third trimester, what you would picture as like stereotypic, like, give me the double cheeseburgers, I can eat for two now. Like very much excited. So that was a shift, and I loved it. It just took a while to get there. Um, the big thing that kind of happened throughout this pregnancy was at the anatomy scan. So around, I think that's like 22 weeks, 20 weeks, I can't remember. But um, a couple things came up during that. So the they flagged her for high drops, which is like some kind of like swelling of chest fluids, and that made us so that was at um the Machayas Hospital, Downy's Community Hospital in Machayas is where I had my ultrasound. And and so we got referred to Northern Light in Bangor for like a follow-up, and we went there and the high drops thing like quickly resolved. They were like, we don't, but um, she was still super small, and they also then had another thing come up with like some kind of shadow on her heart, which also eventually resolved itself. She had two small little pinholes in her heart, little VSDs is what they're called, but um, they turned out to be nothing. We had like a follow-up a couple weeks ago, and that they're all gone now. So that was really great. But the biggest thing was like she was small and like really tiny. And so they wanted like all these extra growth scans and ultrasounds like throughout the whole pregnancy. And I talked about this the first time I was on the podcast, and it just the that like really weighed on me to just like help all these extra appointments. Like a lot of people are like, Oh, it's so cool you to see your baby all the time. And I'm like, I guess, yeah. I mean, it is nice, but it's also just like I felt like it was just not needed, like, you know, especially because I wasn't getting in those nutrients like the you know, in the first couple of trimesters, is like she's small, but like I expect that, like she will be a bigger and she was growing. Like every time I went, she was tracking fine, just just tiny. Um, and so I ended up canceling a lot of the ones towards the end because I just kind of got fed up with it. I was like, no, I feel confident that she is growing and it is fine. And I was so much happier once I did that. So yeah, so I think that brought me that would bring me like right up to about 37 weeks, which is which is when I was on the podcast the first time.

Angela: 11:30

Yeah. So when you first started with your midwife this time in the beginning, did she let you know that she might be on vacation around the time of your due date?

Cathy: 11:41

No, yeah, yeah. So that's something like, yeah, it was very interesting. And I'll kind of like get into that whole situation because it caught me completely off guard. And it was the one thing, like, you know, to find out that your midwife is gonna go on vacation on leave on your due date is kind of like, whoa, that's a that's a just a shock, you know. And if I had known earlier, I don't know when she booked her vacation, I never asked. But if I had known earlier, like maybe I could have found a midwife that would be willing to do a home birth, or I could have maybe switched to a different birthing center. Um, but to find out so late in the game was definitely something that added a lot of stress to those last couple of weeks for sure. Well, last couple of days really.

Angela: 12:25

Oh my gosh. Wow. So when did you find out um that she was gonna be leaving?

Cathy: 12:30

Yeah, so I think it was like, you know, 37 weeks. Um we were totally ready for the baby because my first came at 37 weeks. So, like this time around, we were like totally ready to go. We're like, we're we're like, you know, house is totally clean, car seats in the car, all my snacks were packed and everything. Like 37 weeks came, 38 weeks came, still no baby, nothing. Eating the snacks, like I gotta restock. I totally like, I think I bought my my snacks like five times because I ate them so many times. I was like, Well, but I ate those yesterday, I'll have to buy them all over again. And like every day my husband's like, should we like re-clean the should we re-clean the house? And I was like, I don't know at this point, like this baby, you know, it's funny because like at 38 weeks, you could still have weeks to go. We were just anticipating because our first came so early, just like on his own, that we're like, oh, we're we'll probably have another early baby. But it didn't work out that it just didn't happen that way. I mean, it's only one little data point to compare it to, so it's you know, obviously um wasn't something significant. Like we were like, yeah, it's probably great that she's still in there. Everyone's so concerned that she's small, so she's just growing more, right? So, but I guess it's probably for the best anyway. But yeah, so 37, 38 weeks came and went. I didn't really have any signs that, you know, I think I was like a little bit extra crampy, but they were not like consistent cramps. They never, like, you know, if I moved, they like went away. It was like nothing to be like concerned about at all. So 30, 39 weeks. So it would have been 39 weeks on a Friday, and I had an appointment scheduled for the following Thursday. So that actually would have been like one day before I was before my due date. And that Tuesday, so 39 weeks on Friday, Tuesday, my midwife office. Can you come in today? You know, your appointment's on Thursday, but do you mind coming in today on Tuesday? And I was like, Yeah, I'm not doing anything, I'm just waiting for a baby. So yeah, I don't mind like singing by. And it was like a very uh, like, you know, started off as a very like routine appointment. Like got in, the nurse weighed me, you know, checked my bottle, you know, those kinds of things. And as she was about to leave to go get the midwife, she was like, Um, Jarnie can do uh like a cervical check and a membrane sweep if you want. And I was like, Oh, I honestly haven't thought about that because it wasn't something, it was such a different lead up with my first, right? Like it was like my water broke, I lost my mucus plug, a few hours later had contractions, a few hours later had a baby. So like these weren't really things that I ever experienced with my first. So when she was like, Yeah, you can have a membrane sweep today, I was like, Well, I haven't even really thought of that. You know, I'm only 39 weeks. And she was like, Okay, well, think best because Johnny's coming in. And I was like, Oh, okay, well, thanks. So I was like, I think she was joking, but it was still like it just like caught me kind of off guard. And so when my midwife came in, you know, we did a lot of like the normal chit-chatting that we had always do when we have an appointment. And she started to talk a lot about how the Machias hospital was on deferment so that they weren't taking any labors. And I was like, Yeah, cool, but you know I don't want to have a baby in the hospital, you know, like she knew that about me. Um, and then so eventually she came out with it that she was like, Well, actually, like I have vacation planned for this weekend. And I was like, Oh, okay. And so it was just like, it definitely like just like caught me completely off guard. She's like, Yes, I'll be gone. It was the holiday weekend, so Labor Day weekend. So she would have been gone for the whole long weekend, like leaving on Friday, which was my due date, all the way through Monday. And so, since the Machias Hospital would be on deferment, my next option would be to go down to Ellsworth, which is about two hours for me to go that far. So we were kind of chatting about that. And she's like, I know you probably don't want to do a membrane sweep or anything today. And I was like, Yeah, I definitely don't. You know, I look at that as kind of like a form of intervention, which I didn't feel like I needed, especially at only 39 weeks. There was just like no reason to do that, or at least that's what I was thinking.

Angela: 16:22

Especially since you was like leaving and you didn't want a birth in the hospital.

Cathy: 16:26

Right, exactly. Yeah, and there there is like she she is a on-call midwife for Ellsworth. So throughout the whole pregnancy, there was a small chance that she was like, if I'm ever on call, like or at Ellsworth and you go into labor, like you might have to come there anyway. So I always had that like kind of in the back of my mind. But we've talked that through, like, well, even if I go to Ellsworth, she would be the person delivering my baby. And like she was, she knew I wanted like the home birth, you know, birthing center kind of vibe. And she was like, you know, I would discharge you early. Like it would, like, we would we would treat it like that, just be at a different location than we had planned. But now this scenario is like she's gonna be gone. So I would be going to a place I wasn't familiar with. Like, I I've obviously been to Ellsworth, but I was like, I don't even know where the hospital is. I was like, I'll have to Google that, you know, like it's like a place I've never been with people I've never met before, right? So I was like, this is like a totally just like different situation than like what I would like have expected to do. And like, so it definitely caught me off guard. And I wasn't like mad at her, but I was like very disappointed and frustrated because it's like I understand that like birth workers, like they sacrifice so much for us, right? They're always on call. And it was really great that like she did decide to open her practice here in Chayas, which like allowed me to have my first in a you know in a nice birthing suite, and then also like go through my whole pregnancy with my second there and not have to go through the hospital or drive like two hours to Bangor to have something similar. So it's like I'm so appreciative of that. But like to find out three days before my due date that like my plan could change, it was just that was just like frustrating. I was like, I want you to fill your cap, but like, do you have to do it on my weekend? You know, like you know, it's just like very much like, oh, this is just so frustrating. And so, like, I don't think I asked a lot of questions, really. I had because I was just like, okay, you're gonna leave. And then she was like, Well, I do have insurance for my trip. So she's like, if you're so uncomfortable, like I won't, I won't go. Um, she was like, but she was really assistant. She was like, I'd love to go before I, you know, decide if I'm gonna go. She's like, I really want to do a surgical check on you that will help me decide if I go or not. And I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna do that today. And so we kind of just left with like being like, we'll chat more over the next couple of days. This was Tuesday, she's supposed to leave on Friday. She's like, well, why don't we just like schedule you to come back in on Thursday? Maybe we could do a check then. And she was like, think about it over the next couple of days. And it was just like my understanding of that. And I think I went home and called Leanne either that night or the next day to be like, is this, does this check, right? Like a cervical check could mean nothing, right? It's like, you know, I was kind of bouncing that off, Leanne as my dual. Like, you could be dilated and it would still mean like you could have hours or not dilated at all, and like have a baby in hours. So I was like, and Leanne was like, Yep, yep, that totally, that totally checks out. So what a why did Lily Jarny want that? And I was like, you know, I didn't really ask because I think I was just distracted during the appointment. Because it was just like, you know, at that point, it was just like, yeah, okay, this is gonna be totally different than what I had envisioned for my birth. So totally caught off guard, but yeah.

Angela: 19:42

Yeah, that's kind of unprofessional to not tell you when you're as her client, you know, as the midwifery model, like you're one-on-one with women, and it's you know, that relationship is, you know, it's so important. And then to be like, oh, am I gonna go? Am I not gonna go? Like, that's a lot of pressure on you, feeling like already pregnant, already pressure, like, oh, should I make her stay home from her vacation? Like, or not, like that's that must have been sad.

Cathy: 20:04

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because you know, I was like, okay, well, the baby hasn't come yet. I would feel so bad if I'm like, don't go, and then like the whole weekend happens and I still don't have a baby, right? I was like, there was no sign, like I there was nothing, like I was like a little crampy, but I was like, there was no signs up to that point that I could have a baby, but my first just like happened so quickly. So, like that that could happen, you know. Every day that I had a little cramp, like while I was washing dishes or something, I'd be like, Oh, is this maybe this will turn into like a real contraction, you know? It's like kind of that funny feeling where you're like, I'm totally ready to meet you, baby. But then you're also like, oh, wait, I'm about to do like the hardest thing I've ever done before again, right? It's like this like funny, like waiting period where you're like excited, but you're also a little nervous. So it was like, yeah, there was no real signs. So it was definitely like, I don't want to say don't go, but I also like built this relationship with you. And like, yeah, so overall it was definitely like kind of a frustrating experience, but we decided that we would just like keep talking over the next couple of days, and so I think Wednesday, the next day, I started to lose like a little bit of mute of mucus of my mucus plug, just like a tiny bit, like every time I was going to the bathroom, there was some there. And again, I think I was talking to Leanne about that. She's like, Yeah, she's like, that's that could be a sign, but like people's mucus plugs can like grow back all the time. So she's like, that doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna have the baby soon. And I was like, oh, okay. So um Thursday, the day that my midwife had wanted me to come back in, she actually got called to Ellsworth to deliver a baby. So she was like, never mind, don't come in today, but maybe tomorrow morning. Like, she's like, I'm I'm supposed to fly out Friday night. Maybe you can come in Friday morning and do a check. She was like so insistent on wanting to do a cervical check. And I was just like, Okay, like just like I don't know. I just like didn't really feel like I wanted to do it, but she was like so insistent about it. I don't know, again, it was just like putting me in this like kind of weird place. But yeah, Friday morning I woke up and it was my due date. Yay! Like that was exciting, right? I couldn't believe I made it that far. I thought at that point maybe I'd already have like a three-week old, right? That's what I had with my first. So it was kind of exciting to make it all the way to my due date. But I did go right in and just kind of meet with her, meet with my midwife. And we chatted a lot about like what it what it's like at the Machias Hospital, like who the midwives are there, because I've never met them, and like, you know, like do they is there a tub option? Like those kinds of things, just to kind of like start to get into that mindset. And I did let her do a cervical check and I was dilated out of one, I think it was, and like yeah, there was like no real sign. She was like, okay, I I don't think you're gonna have this baby this weekend. And I was like, okay. So she's like, I think I'll go on my trip. And I was like, okay, I'm you know, I'm not gonna say you can't go, you're an adult too, you know. So I was just like, okay, I'm just gonna get in this mindset that like my new plan, you know, hopefully the baby would stay all weekend and I would be able to like have the birth that I kind of visioned at that birth center. But I was like, if not, I just gotta like wrap my head around like this weekend, Ellsworth it is, and this is why I was actually so happy that I asked Leanne to be my dual again. Because I was like, all right, this is the what if. Like, I have a doula, she'll at least be there. You know, Leanne has supported birth down at Ellsworth before. So she was comfortable with that setting, and she's like, I know what you want, like this is great, it'll be fine. And so it made me just like so happy that I was like, Yes, I definitely want a doula for the second time around, because that what if happened, and so it was like, okay, yeah. So it was yeah, so that's where we got. That was Friday, my due date.

Angela: 23:43

Yeah, yeah, and then let's see. So she was there to step in and just be with you when you were alone for that week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Cathy: 23:55

Cause you know, I thought about it, like I was like, well, maybe I I could switch to like have a home birth or something, but it's like, who do you who are we gonna call up and be like, hi, like I'm due today? Any chance you wanna like come to my house all the way in Lou Bat, right? Like it was too late to like pivot to a new plan. So it was kind of like, okay, Ellsworth it is like this is what we're gonna do, you know. So it's just like okay, and my midwife's practice is so small. Like, I asked her, like, do you have a backup midwife that you use? And she's like, No, I don't. And I was like, Oh, I was like, You should you should consider that in the future, right? So at least I could have still birthed there, but she was like, No, I don't, you know, I I asked her, like, could you open the birthing center to like another midwife? And she's like, No, I don't do that. So I was like, okay. So it was like it was unfortunate, but I was like, okay, let's just switch the mindset. We're having the baby at the hospital, let's Google a little bit about that. What is that gonna be like, you know? So yeah. Um, but we were hoping she'd stay in, but let's see. So Saturday morning, I woke up, I think about 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom, and I had like a lot of bright red blood that, you know, when I went to the bathroom. And that was again like another sign that I was like, oh, this isn't something that I've experienced before. So um I called my midwife on vacation and I was like, yeah, this is happening. You know, she said I could call her, text her while she was gone. I was like, great, I'm gonna do that. Um, and you know, I text her to her pictures and she's like, yeah, that's your like bloody show. So like just like keep resting. But she's like, probably does mean the baby's gonna come sooner than later, but like just rest and like try to stay off your feet, try to keep her in there until I get back. And I was like, okay, like I can't control that, but I'll try. So like all day Saturday, I was like much more uncomfortable, and my like the crampy contractions were starting to get like a little bit more intense, but they still were not getting in like any kind of like regular pattern or anything like that. Um, my husband was like, Are you gonna call Leanne today? And I was like, No, I feel like we're close, but I still don't feel like it's the day yet. So Saturday came and went, and then Sunday, uh like throughout that day, like everything was starting to like, okay, like now these contractions are starting to get a little bit more intense. They still like throughout the day, no real pattern, but I was just like way more uncomfortable than I had been the last couple of days. And so I like told my husband, I was like, okay, I'm thinking, I think it today might be the day. So I was like, let's make sure we're all packed, like re get my snacks for me, you know, like let's get all those things together. I think I did text Leanne that I was like, hey, like today could be it. She's like, hey, I'll be ready. Um, my parents had come into town that day because they were coming up, you know, to support our family once the baby was born. So they were arriving that day. My dad kept asking for weeks before, like, is the baby here yet? I'm like, Dad, please. It's I don't know why people do that. Like, obviously, we will tell you when our baby arrives. The people that constantly are like, is your baby here yet? It's like, clearly, I'm still pregnant. It's a very funny thing to ask us at towards the end. It's just, yeah. But anyway, so that Sunday, so my parents arrived that day, and everything was just getting a little bit more like, okay, I think around nine o'clock, I was like, I'm gonna go lay down, like get ready for bed. But by then, there was definitely like a regular pattern was happening with my contractions. So I kind of like, I never went to bed. I just kind of like laid there with my little app on my phone that was like monitoring how close together the contractions were. And I think around 9 p.m. they were like 12, 12 minutes apart. And they, but every hour, like a one minute would shave off. So I was like doing the math in my head, like, okay, I have to get all the way to Ellsworth, but I was like so comfortable in my own bed. It was just like so, like no one was bothering me. It was like such a peaceful time, you know. Every now and then my husband would roll over and he's like, You're doing great. And I'm like, Thanks. You know, it was just like really, it was just like really calm and peaceful. And I was like, man, I should just like have the baby here, but not ready for that at all. So I think I was like in my brain, I was like, okay, I leave when the contractions are like eight or nine minutes apart. That should, that should give me enough time to get down to Ellsworth. Um, but I think a little after 12:30, I had like this bigger one that it almost felt like she just like kicked, like punched me in the stomach. I was like, wow, I didn't have to do that, baby. I was like, that was like so intense. So I think I told my husband, I was like, all right, that one was a little different. Maybe we should like get ready to go. So I had woke my mom up and I told her, like, you're on toddler duty, like, we're gonna leave for the hospital now. So like have her there in case my son woke up. But and we had everything ready. And then, like, I was like, all right, let me just pee real quick before I go. And so I went to go pee and like my water broke like a huge gush over the toilet. And I was like, Oh my god, my water broke. My but my husband was like, I heard that. Like he was in the other room. He was like, I heard it. And I was like, Oh wow, okay, like good thing we're leaving. So that was great. And then um, we had called Leanne and we told her we were gonna leave. She um lives in Columbia Falls, which is like in between here and and Ellsworth. So she's like, I'll meet you at four corners at the grocery store there, and then I'll just follow you the rest of the way. So we had kind of arrived at the same time. I was like, okay, that sounds good. And then once we were in the car, my husband was like, I thought you said that these were like nine minutes apart. He's like, they're like three minutes apart. And I was like, shut up and just drive faster. I had not anticipated like that they could like contractions come so much more quickly after your water breaks. And I wasn't expecting my water to break right before like the second I walked out the door. So they were, they were like coming a lot faster and like very uncomfortable in the car at this point, right? Like I had my seatbelt on that came off in like a second. I was in the passenger seat, like holding on to the little handrail above me. I couldn't like move to the back seat because we had both car seats in the back seat of our car. So it was just like just like squatting, standing on the front, like trying to get comfortable. But like I was having pretty intense contractions at that point, you know, screaming, like, I want to go home, take me home. You know, my son's like, I'm gonna just keep driving, even though you're staying that. You know, I was like, okay, uh, you know, it was kind of funny, but also it was just like it was a Not a very can't move, and so like that's just like not the most ideal in its place, long ride.

Angela: 30:06

So, like, how long is the ride from Lubeck to Ellsworth? Like, that's far still.

Cathy: 30:12

Yeah, it takes us about two hours. I mean, luckily, it's like you know, 1:30 in the morning, so my husband's like whipping it down there, but yeah, it takes about two hours for us to get there. So I was like, okay, you know, this will be fun. And I think we had gotten to the point where we were supposed to meet Leanne. And so my husband started to like slow down. He's like, I don't see your car in there. And I was like, Gabe, drive. I was like so mad. I was like, do not slow this car down. And he's like, Okay, I'll just call her and tell her that we're gonna keep driving. And he didn't like that, went through the car speaker, you know, because it's on Bluetooth. And she was like, No, no, I see you guys. I'll just hop in right behind you. Like, don't worry, just keep going. And then I had like a huge contraction, like while we were, while she was on the phone. And she was like instantly went into like a wonderful supportive mode and was like talking me through it while while in the while in her car, following our car. And then we um turned on the Blackwoods Road. So if people aren't familiar, there's kind of like two ways for us to get to Ellsworth. One's like Blackwoods, or you can stay on Route One and like go through Melbridge. And my husband had before, he had asked, which way do I go? And I was like, Oh, we always take the Blackwoods Road. It's faster, probably like 10 minutes faster. It's not like that much faster. And again, like at two in the morning, you could probably go equally the other way. But we went that way. And Leanne told me later that she was like, Oh, after you had that huge contraction, and then we turned that direction, she was like, Oh, this is this is risky going that way. There's no cell phone service on that road. But we went that way, and the next contraction I had was like not vocal at all. It was kind of like that, like deep, like, mmm, like I okay. And I was like, in my brain, I was like, Yep, I'm ready to push. I'm gonna start pushing. And then my brain was like, I should tell them that I'm pushing. And I was like, hmm, I'm just gonna work through this. Like, I was just like, okay, I really need to like it was just hard. You're like not really, you don't have the words then to like communicate. And so eventually I was like, to my husband, I think I was like, I'm pushing, I'm pushing now. And he was like, Okay, I'll just pull over and ask Leanne if you should do that. And I was like, There's no like should I like there's like I am doing like the baby is coming, and so they pulled over, and Leanne had come to the passenger side door, and she's like, Do you go ahead? Like, just feel out there, you can check and I was just like clutchy onto the back of the car, like to the seat, and I was just like holding on and like squatting over the passenger seat, and I was like, Oh, I cannot. I was like, I knew she was right there. And Leanne's like, Well, I'll feel for a few. And then she's like, I don't feel anything, I think we can still make it. You got this, you got this, and I'd like, we'll we'll we'll keep going. And I was like, if any of you get back in the car, like my brain, I don't think I was communicating this out loud, but my brain was like, if you guys get back in the car and keep driving, I you know, I was like, she was right there, and so I was like, No, no, baby's coming. And I think my husband was like running around the middle of the road trying to get a cell phone service because he just like couldn't make a phone call to call anyone. So he's like like in the middle of the street, like holding his phone up. And I'm like, the baby is literally coming. And I think like next contraction, one push, like Leanne caught her. She just like came right out there, and I was just like, Oh, yep. Leanne's like, Okay, well, we have a baby. He came back and he was like, Wait, we had a baby, you know, came back from the middle of the road, and it was just like, yeah. So then we were like, okay, well, I guess let's pop pop back in the car and start driving towards the hospital. Oh my goodness. I know, like it was just like so great that she could get right behind us because my husband, like, he was like, If she wasn't here, I don't know what I he was like, I don't know what I would have done. Like he was like, I was not prepared for that to happen. So yeah, it was so great that she was like right there and said she was like, I've got I think she was like, Do you guys have any towels in your car? And he's like, We have one, and she's like, I have a bunch in my car. And she ran to her car, and then she came back with a sweatshirt. She's like, Never mind, I took those towels out, but we wrapped the baby up in a sweatshirt and she just like put her on me and she's like, Okay, let's go. And so we like kept going. And the drive from there was great, you know. I was like using full sentence. My husband's like, Wow, you're so just like so you're using full sentences and you're just like so happy. And I was like, Well, yeah, because that feeling, you go from the most intense, like painful thing to like the the sense of relief is just like I'm just you just feel amazed. This is why you're like, Yeah, I'd have another baby. Because that that moment is just like so magical and so amazing. And I just felt so happy right after it happened. I was like, this is wonderful. I think I was like, you could turn around, let's just go home. Like, we don't need the hospital now. And he's like, Well, now we're only like 25 minutes away, we should probably go. And I was like, Okay, but we could just go home. And it was funny too. I think I was also like, What time? Like, what time was it? Like, someone he was like, Oh, I looked, it was like two, two seventeen-ish. And I was like, Okay, we'll call it that if they ask. But it was just yeah, so it was funny. Car birth was not expecting that, but yeah, we so yeah, we made yeah, we did it.

Angela: 35:03

Oh my gosh, that's incredible! Wow. So so you did go to the hospital.

Cathy: 35:09

How was that? Yeah, so um I got there probably like a little bit before 3 a.m. And Leanne had called uh once when she did get service. She called and told them that we were coming, so they were like, you know, waiting for us with a wheelchair. So like right as I pulled up, they put me in that wheelchair and we went up to a room. It was just like a different experience, you know. I went from being like in the total dark, like doing this all alone, you know, with and then it was in the woods on the side of the road, like how cool. Yeah. Right, exactly. And I was like, oh, and now there are like three nurses and a midwife, and we're all in this tiny room, and they're all asking me like 1,000 questions. And I was like, Why are we playing like a hundred questions right now? Like, how is any of this relevant? Um, I hadn't birthed the placenta yet, so that was so once I got there, that midwife on call was like, Do you want to do that? And I think I just did like a tiny push and it came like right out. It was just like, so, and I was like, So that was fine. And then they were just like tending to me. I had a second degree tear, so they were working on that and like doing all the baby stuff. I remember when I birthed the placenta, Leanne was like, That's it, you're no longer pregnant anymore, which was like such a bittersweet moment because I didn't like being pregnant either time, right? Like I was like so happy to not be pregnant and have this beautiful baby safely on the side of the road. It was just like, but also we were we're done. Like we were pretty, we're pretty confident we're not gonna have any more kids. So it was like that moment of like such a relief I'm not pregnant anymore, but I'm like closing this chapter of my life that I won't ever do again. And so I was like happy and sad all in the same moment when she made that statement. And it was just like, wow, I can't believe it. But besides that, it was like, yeah, they just kept kind of tending to me. I remember looking over, and Leanne and Ian were just like sitting on the couch, like, okay, we're not really doing anything now. Because it was like, you know, the big moment had happened already, and so they were just kind of hanging out. But um, the big thing is that I was GBS positive, so positive for group B strep, which is like this bacteria you have in your vagina. And so that can get passed to your baby during birth, like they can have like an infection, and they kept being like, oh, this is like super, this can be super life threatening. And it's really critical. They typically what they do is give you antibiotics in an IV, and they were, but that's time sensitive. So obviously, I didn't have the baby at the hospital, so I couldn't get that IV in. Um, and so now they were like, well, what we do now is like a watch and wait approach. And I was like, I'm ready to go home. And they were like, Well, we really want you to stay like 48 hours. And I was like, Oh, I was like, I didn't want to be here to begin with. I didn't even have my baby here. I was like, I just really want to go home. And like, it's just like it's that funny situation where like obviously everyone is so friendly and so nice, but they always word things like, this is super like life-threatening to your baby. Like, if you if you go home and you don't catch the symptoms, and like if Machias is on deferment, you'll have to drive all the way back here and it's time critical to get your baby that you need. And so it's like you're in the situation where you're like, Oh, okay, like I don't want to leave because you're making me all stressed out that like something could potentially happen to my baby. But my husband's over there, like, well, don't we have like the shortest exposure period? Because you know, my water broke around one and the baby was born at two. He was like, That's such a short exposure period. He was like trying to get them to give us like more for like what it like, what are the statistical odds that it happened? Like, wouldn't it be so low that like this will be passed on to the baby? Like, you know, and they were just like, you know, you can go, but you have to sign a form that says you're like leaving against hospital advice or medical advice. So I was like, all right, well, we'll I don't know, we'll think about it for a couple for a little bit. So I think Leanne she stayed for a little for a couple hours and then she left and got my car cleaned. I couldn't believe she did that. She was like, I'll take, I'll be right back. And she went and like cleaned, she cleaned my whole car, which was like, you didn't need to do that, but that was very nice, but she did do that. Just so sweet to have that, like a little extra support. And it was just yeah, great. But then she left, and I think, you know, we went out, or my husband went out, got us some breakfast sandwiches, which was great. And it's just like the hospital's just like a weird setting for me. Like they were coming to check on you, like at first, I think it was about like every 30 minutes, and then like every four hours, and it was always a different nurse. They're always they're friendly, they're so nice, but it's just like a new face every time. Like, I'm like, why are we doing this again? Like, I just want to go home. You know, like even like a cleaning lady came in and she was like, I thought she was just gonna grab the trash. The next thing I know, she's like spraying cleaning spray all over the whole room. And I'm just like, Do you really have to do this like right now? Like, what a weird, like, don't you even wait till I leave before you wipe down the entire room. So just like there's all like constant people coming in and out. Like people brought me food and I was like, Oh, I didn't order anything. And they're like, No, it's for you anyway. And I was like, Oh, well, how do I order things? I'm like I don't know, I just dropped the food off. And I was like, Okay, what a weird place, you know, friendly, but just like I wanted to like my first is like I had him, went home and was like, you know, back in my bed four hours later. And so this was just like there's like a lot of people coming, but we were just so torn about like wanting to leave because of this potential infection that she might have.

Angela: 40:47

So I think ultimately my husband did I have my midwife. Did you like call your midwife at that point? Because she was the one that said if you went to Ellsworth, she'd get you out, right?

Cathy: 40:56

Like, yeah, I did text her and I was I did ask her because Leanne had suggested the same. She's like, why don't you text Johnny and see what her thoughts on this were? Because like all you know, it was like they were basically one, if you should have had these antibiotics, but two, they were also like you should have them at least four hours before the like before the birth, which I don't think I ever connected that dot. Like, you know, when I was at home timing my contractions, if I had wanted to get to Ellsworth four hours before my baby came, like I, you know, I started timing them at like 9 p.m. I would have never even made it for that to happen, right? And like I wasn't even in my thought process, like I should leave now because I need to get there four hours ahead of time, right? But I but I did text um Jarney, my midwife, and was like, hey, like, you know, this is going on. And she was like, I think her response was like, Oh yeah, that's a tricky situation. And I was like, Okay, thanks for the advice. Like, I at that point, I was just like, All right, cool, I'll talk to you when you get back.

Angela: 41:58

She knew you were GBS positive and that might be an issue. That would have maybe been more important than the cervical check to say, like, if this happens over the weekend, right?

Cathy: 42:06

Yeah, yeah. Her advice went was just like, you know, she was like, you know, you had a really first fast labor. So if your water breaks, like that's the time to go. Like, don't wait for, you know, don't hang out. And I didn't, like, I was like planning on leaving like right before my it was just a coincidence that it broke right when I left. But that was her advice, like, go when your water breaks. So I was like, that's what I did, you know. Um, but we my husband and I ultimately decided that we would stay 24 hours. So they would go through like all the newborn screening tests. It turned out to be like 30 hours because that would have they did all those tests at like two in the morning when she was born. And then they were like, Well, we have a pediatrician coming that would come in first thing in the morning. And so why don't we have a pediatrician look her over and then you can go? And I was like, Okay, it was like the longest 30 hours. Like, it was just like we were so bored and like the bed is so uncomfortable. I was just like ready to go home. But uh it was kind of nice. Ian's uh my husband's sister was visiting, and so she was heading home that day, and she's like, I'll come through Ellsworth and see the baby, and we were like, Yeah. So she came by to the hospital and got us here before she um went home. But yeah, then the pediatrician came and they technically discharged me, but they still they still didn't like clear. They're like, Yeah, she looks fine, but like we're not gonna clear her until I think it was at least 48, if not 72 hours. So we did sign a form that said we're leaving against medical advice because I was like, I'm over being here. And we had made an appointment with our pediatrician for the following day. So I was like pretty confident that like we'll have you know them look her over. So we left after, and that was yeah, I felt so happy to leave. It's just not my my setting that I wanted to be at anymore.

Angela: 43:50

Yeah, oh that's that's crazy. What a story. Wow.

Cathy: 43:57

Yeah. I think it was like even funny, like when my midwife had told me, I think I was had lunch with my boss a little bit after that, and I was like, you know, and I could wrap my head around Ellsworth as long as I don't have this baby in a car. And we were like joking about wouldn't that be funny? Maybe I like willed it into existence somehow. Cause I was like, as long as that doesn't happen. But yeah, it was I didn't expect it. Now I don't really look at my car the same. I'm always like, oh, this is where I had a baby. Super special car now, right? Oh my gosh. Yeah, you can't sell it. I know that's what I was like. I was like, we have to keep this car forever.

Angela: 44:34

Oh wow. Oh my goodness. So how do you like looking back now? How do you feel about like where you birthed? Like in the woods on the side, like at least you were stopped. Like the car was stopped. At least Leanne was behind you, right? Like, how yeah, how do you feel like looking back about that whole birthing place?

Cathy: 44:51

Yeah, I mean, it was it was so great that Leanne was there. And like definitely, like, I should have prepared a little bit more in case of a car birth, you know, had some towels in the car, but it was really great. I mean, it was just like it was really hard to have those contractions in the car. But once I got into like the non-vocal ones, it was just like it was dark, it was great, no one was really bothering me. I liked it. I mean, we're definitely not planning on having more kids, but I would 100% have a home birth like in the future. I think I'm much more confident in my ability to be like, I can do this like without any anybody, right? So, like, I got this, it's fine. And so, like, if we were to have another one, I'd be like, Yeah, we're definitely staying home. Because it was so fun to also just like labor kind of in my bed leading up to it. Like, I was like, I don't want to go in the car for two hours, right? Like, it was just like really great. And it was, I mean, it's nice that my labors are pretty short. Like, I've you know, both times they weren't like very like drawn out over a couple of days or whatever. But yeah, I think if I was to do it again, it would I would just stay put at home, which would be really nice. Birth works, yeah, yeah, exactly. You just like trust your instincts and go for it. I think it just took me a little time to be like to be like, oh yeah, I can do this. I don't need yeah, and and like you you want to equip yourself with the best team, and like I think that's one of the great reasons why like it was so nice to have Leanne. Like, I really trust in her. She's had four of her own boys, and you know, it's nice to have that support. Um, but it's like you want to put your trust also in medical professionals too, like they're trained to do that and stuff, but sometimes it's like their focus is a little bit different than your focus.

Angela: 46:32

And birth isn't necessarily a medical event, you know, like until it is, like it's not, you know, and and that's great. Ian had worked as a midwife's assistant, I think, for quite a bit too. So she's just like confident assisting that, and then more, you know, so she had some you know, some experience. So like you were you were still in great hands.

Cathy: 46:51

Yeah, I was yeah, I was so happy that she was there. I was like, You she's got this, we'll be fine. She was like, You did it, all I did was catch her.

Angela: 47:00

Like, yeah, that's true. Nobody really remembers your baby, like you birthed your babies with support, right? Yeah.

Cathy: 47:08

Yeah, exactly. Right.

Angela: 47:10

No, after after everything you've been through, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, like what's one of the biggest things you'd want to share right now?

Cathy: 47:22

Yeah, I think you'd be like ready to like go with the flow, you know, like but like take your time, like ask all the questions, ask them two or three times. Like, even if someone like kind of brushes them off or like gives you an answer that like doesn't make sense to you, like, like, no, I want to revisit that. I want to know what happens in this like what if scenario. Like, don't be like, oh, we don't have to worry about that. Like, let's talk about it so that you can be like the most prepared with like the more information you have, the easier it is for you to make those decisions and and question those things like when they say, like, oh, this is super life-threatening to your baby. Be like, that's not the end of the sentence, right? Like, but what, like, what are the chances? You know, if I have all that information, I can make the decision that's best for like my family. Um, so I think it was like having that prepared and like also having your like support team ready to go, like having those people that's really supportive, and not only like during your labor, but also right after. The one thing that was like different for me this time postpartum is that my son had come so early. So my parents were planning to come then too, but they probably didn't get here until like four weeks after he was born because he came early. But this time around, it was like I got home and they was like, they're my parents, which was fantastic. You know, they were taking care of my toddler, which was so wonderful. But also for me, I'm like at that first week, I like, I just want to walk around like topless, like my boobs hurt, my nipples are cracked. Like, I'm just like, and then I'm like, oh, there's my dad. You know, it's just like a little bit of a different experience. Like they're being very supportive, but I really enjoyed that like first bit of time with my son, like just me and my husband and my son. It was just like it was difficult, it was hard, but we were like navigating it as a family of three. This time it just like felt like I had so many people in my house, like my parents were here, my in-laws just like kept coming over, and I was like, this is overwhelming. Like, just for that like first like week and a half. I was just like, I need some time to like just adjust to being mom again, like by myself and like my body's changing again. So, like, think about you know, your team both before and after, you know, have that plan, like what works for you, everyone will be different and want support in a different way, but kind of think through both options.

Angela: 49:38

Yes, it can be really easy to stay focused on like the birth, which of course is the main event, but don't forget about postpartum. Right, yeah, exactly.

Cathy: 49:47

There's so many things that happen there too.

Angela: 49:49

Yeah. So how has your postpartum been going so far? And it's how old is she now?

Cathy: 49:54

So she's two months, so yeah, she was born on September 1st. So she was born on Labor Day this year, but I didn't think I'd have a September baby. And her brother is born on was born on September 11th. So their birthdays are only 10 days apart. So yeah, so he's just freshly two, and she's two months. So they're pretty, pretty close birthdays there, but it's been going good. Like I said, that first week, I was like, oh yeah, this is, you know, I was like, my boobs hurt all the time. She latched great, but it was just like a little intense at first. But after my milk came in and everything regulated, it was like, oh yeah, this is this is fine. That's going good. She's a much better sleeper than he was. Like even now, she's like, she only wakes up at like about two in the morning. She'll go to bed at like seven and wake up at two. He woke up like every 45 minutes. And I was like, uh, I like fear the dark when he when he was a baby. I was like, oh, it's getting dark. He's gonna wake up in every 45 minutes until the morning. But she's great, she's a good sleeper, so that's made it really easy. So now we're just kind of navigating the family of four dynamics, you know. Him being only two, it's a little like one minute he's like love's baby sister, and the next minute he's giving her a little tough love slap on the face, but you know, get through it and we'll get through it together. So it's pretty good.

Angela: 51:14

Yeah, it's a learning process.

Cathy: 51:16

They all they'll figure it out. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I can see a good good time in the you know, future ahead. Well, they'll just be like playing and I'll be like, yeah, that'll be wonderful.

Angela: 51:26

So oh, yeah, it happens fast. So enjoy all those newborn snuggles while you still got them. Yeah, yeah, thanks. Oh, well, thank you so much, Kathy, for taking the time to chat with me again and come back and share your second birth story. It's incredible. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. Thank you so much. Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth. If you're pregnant, whether you're a first-time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as a link to access my labor of blogs, a comprehensive, self-based online childbirth education course. I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who your birthing is. And I'd honestly love to do everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey. So, with those show notes, check out all of those links, and if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at MyManeBirth over on Instagram.